And I have spent three years going through the reasons, and there are four, and I am going to put them in the order of how much credit I deserve for them, worst first.

Because it was a solvable problem.

That is the top one and it is the one his letter named and it is the reason it hurt the way it did.

For two years I had been handing that man things he had not asked for.

Coffee.

Socks.

A sandwich he ate about a third of.

In the January of that year I spent an entire lunch break on my phone calling shelters during a cold snap until I got him a bed, and I was so pleased with myself about it that I told three people at work.