I did not tell anybody at the time — not my mother, not my sister, nobody at work — and I have had to ask myself why, and the answer is not modesty.

It is that I was saving it.

I knew that at some point in my life I was going to be a woman who had done this, and I wanted that, and I wanted it more than I wanted anybody’s opinion about whether it was wise.

Because he was going to die in four weeks and I was not going to be a person who said no to that.

That one is fine.