And Arthur looked at the cup and then at me and said, “Is there sugar?”

And I said, “There isn’t, but I can get some.”

And he said, “Then no, thank you.

I don’t drink it black.”

And that was it.

He did not want it.

He was perfectly friendly about not wanting it and he did not apologize for not wanting it, and I sat there with a full cup of coffee beside me and a man who had said no.

Three years ago I would have insisted.