“Unbelievable,” she said.

“So now I’m the criminal and she’s the saint.” I did not turn around.

I was learning, in real time, that there was nothing she could say that was worth answering, and that my silence unsettled her far more than any argument would have.

People like Vanessa need you to engage, because engagement is where they live; it is the medium in which they work.

Give them an argument and they will turn it, twist it, find the angle, put you on the defensive, make the conversation about your unfairness rather than their cruelty.