That is the honest truth of it.

If I had let myself be only his daughter in that first hour, I would have gone down on the floor beside his bed and been no use to anyone.

So I put the daughter away, the way you put away a photograph you cannot look at yet, and I let the doctor work — and the doctor’s steady hands were the most loving thing the daughter had to give.

I have thought since that this is what all those years of training were secretly for.