That was the whole argument.

People have asked me over the years how I decided, what went through my head, what tipped the scale — and the honest answer is that nothing went through my head at all.

There was no decision, not really, not the kind you weigh.

There was a baby’s hand around my finger and there was the simple, physical, unarguable fact that I was not going to be the second person that week to put her down and walk away.

Everyone else in her short life so far had left.

Her mother, not by choice.