I had a fortress to defend and three children inside it, and I was not going to waste a single breath on rage when I could spend it on the walls.\n\nSo the rest I figured out, for years, mostly alone.

Work and grief and bills and homework and school pickups and doctor’s appointments and the thousand daily logistics of keeping three children fed and clothed and loved and on time — I carried all of it, and most nights I carried it well enough, and some nights I sat on the bathroom floor after they were asleep and let myself fall apart for exactly ten minutes before I got up and did the dishes.

That was my life.

It was hard and it was full and it was entirely, fiercely mine.