To trust that the calm competent people whose entire careers were built for exactly this moment knew things I did not, and to get out of their way and let them work.

I am not built to sit still.

No parent is, not when their people are in danger.

But I did it, because Detective Vance had looked me in the eye and told me the truth, and because somewhere underneath the animal panic I understood that my job that night was not to be a hero.

My job was to still be here, whole and unharmed and present, when they brought Elena back — so that there would be a father in that hospital for Maya no matter how the night went.

That is the unglamorous heart of it.