I told myself that Elena was a good mother, which was true, and that she would never let anything happen to Maya, which I also believed, and I used those true things as reasons not to push, when I should have used them as reasons to trust that Elena would hear me out.

That is the trap of the amicable divorce: you get so invested in staying amicable that you stop saying the hard necessary things, and a child can fall straight through the gap between two parents who are each being so very reasonable.

I will never make that particular mistake again.

A kid’s fear is not a custody dispute.

I know that now in my bones.

I paid for the knowing, and worse, Maya paid for it, and that is a thing I get to carry.