Budweiser Inc. has finally hit the brick wall, as the corporation and corporate officials filed Chapter Eleven paperwork with the federal business court yesterday afternoon citing recent advertising issues as the cause.
The document acknowledges that Anheuser-Busch CEO Morton Anheuser has read and comprehended the significance of the eleventh chapter of Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone. It’s Quidditch season in the chapter, and Harry has borrowed a book on the sport.
According to Potter specialist Sandra Batt, “It’s really a significant chapter because it helps to solidify the reader’s suspicion of Professor Snape throughout the series.” Snape informs Harry that he is not permitted to carry library books outside. What a douchebag, I mean.
The chapter also describes Harry’s first-ever Quidditch match, in which he breaks Snape’s enchantment on him by setting his robe on fire. Overall, it’s the penultimate.
As is evident much later in the story, the relationship between Harry and Snape is exceedingly complicated, according to Clete Torris, the foremost expert on Quidditch in New York. And the game serves as a powerful metaphor.
As a corporate entity, Budweiser has recently been thinking about how to make people scream like little girls about the mean old transsexual man assaulting their terrible drink. Harry Potter books appear to be their best shot at solving the issue.
I predict Amazon next with the mustache girl!!