Dream Wedding or Financial Nightmare? New York Dad Faces $200K Destination Dilemma
Planning a child’s wedding is often a joyful milestone, but for one New York father, his daughter’s dream celebration quickly became a financial and emotional minefield.
When she revealed plans for an extravagant destination wedding in New Zealand—hosting up to 200 guests and costing a staggering $200,000—he found himself torn between honoring her wishes and protecting the family’s finances.
This father took to Reddit’s popular AITA forum, seeking advice after promising to cover the wedding expenses, only to be blindsided by the event’s scale and price. While his wife urged him to accept the costs as affordable and worthwhile, he saw the extravagance as excessive and wasteful—worried not only about the money but also about alienating other relatives.
“My wife thinks we should just do it since we can afford it,” he wrote, “but I feel like this is throwing away a lot of money. Now both my daughter and wife won’t even talk to me. Should I just put aside my pride and pay up, even if it means upsetting others?”
The Reddit community quickly weighed in, many sympathizing with his hesitation. One commenter pointed out the hidden costs of destination weddings: flights, accommodations, and travel expenses for guests that often add up quickly. They questioned whether the father would be expected to foot the bill for everyone attending, and criticized the daughter’s silence and labeling of her father as “a jerk” as signs of entitlement.
Others suggested finding middle ground.
“Set a firm budget and let your daughter decide how to spend it,” advised one user. “Tell her you’ll cover X amount, including your own travel and immediate family. Anything beyond that she and her fiancé need to handle.”
Though the thread hasn’t been updated, the father’s predicament highlights a familiar and tricky challenge: how to support a child’s milestone dreams without risking financial stability or family relationships.
Weddings can be a joyful celebration, but they also reveal the delicate balance parents must strike between generosity and responsibility. Clear communication and upfront budgeting are key to avoiding resentment and heartbreak.
Ultimately, this story is a reminder that love and family should unite—never divide—even when dreams come with a hefty price tag.