Most people would rather not think about how they might die because they fear death.
However, some people are forced to survive while facing death. Consider those receiving hospice care, sometimes known as end-of-life care, who have advanced, incurable illnesses and other conditions that will soon cause their death. Since they are caring for patients who are not expected to live a full year, you can expect the staff to be extremely depressed. However, as end-of-life patients reach a sort of catharsis, some health professionals and “end-of-life” staff find the practice inspiring.
Most people would rather not think about how they might die because they fear death. However, some people are forced to survive while facing death. Consider those receiving hospice care, sometimes known as end-of-life care, who have advanced, incurable illnesses and other conditions that will soon cause their death.
Since they are caring for patients who are not expected to live a full year, you can expect the staff to be extremely depressed. However, as end-of-life patients reach a sort of catharsis, some health professionals and “end-of-life” staff find the practice inspiring.
Facing the fear of extinction
Dr.. Christopher Kerr is one of them and says that “death is this unique point of view that changes one’s perspective and perception”. It naturally draws you inward. There is reflection and people often emphasize the positive aspects of life and what matters to them. And our relationships are usually like that.”
Dr. Kerr, a palliative care physician, and his research team at Hospice & Palliative Care Buffalo have documented more than 1,500 end-of-life episodes and published studies over many years.
According to Kerr, patients often have dreams that provide them with comfort and a sense of closure.
This may encourage them to make amends, reconnect with loved ones, or take other steps to comfort them and prepare for the goodbye.
“We’ve all been damaged in one way or another in our lives, and we seem to have been re-united by those experiences,” Kerr said. “And so the life you live is affirmed, and conversely, the fear of death seems to diminish.”
However, not all insights and dreams are calm and reassuring. Some of them can be disturbing. “But these dreams are often the most transformative or meaningful,” he said.
Bad experience at the end of life
Dr Christopher gave an example of this phenomenon on the Next Level Soul podcast. “We had a man in his 40s who had been incarcerated all his life. In addition to head and neck cancer, he was addicted to drugs. He was laughing and dreaming and full of joy when he suddenly burst into tears and thought that all the people who hurt him were stabbing him.”
“But after he came out of it, he asked to visit his daughter to apologize and show her his love. And then he died quietly.”
Parental comfort
One of the patients was a woman suffering from doubts and remorse that her children had been convicted of drug crimes. However, the doctor notes that towards the end of her life, she had a very cathartic dream in which “her parents came to her and told her what a good mother she was”.
Veteran end-of-life implementation
One patient served in the teenage army in 1944 during the invasion of Normandy. Because of this, he suffers from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) his whole life.
“He came to our unit at the end of his life … he had such a horrible experience where he saw body parts and bloody water and he was screaming and he couldn’t rest.” According to Kerr, “You can’t die if you can’t sleep.” The way you pass out when you’re sleeping makes it quite difficult.” But the man was losing his cool because of his PTSD.
When he finally fell asleep one day, Kerr asked him about his dreams. “I had a fantastic dream in which I experienced the day that was the happiest part of my life – the day he got his discharge papers,” she says.
I had a vivid dream in which a soldier he didn’t know came up to him and said, ‘No, we’re going to get you,’ probably in Normandy.
“Post-Traumatic Growth”
The man died quietly in his sleep shortly afterward. This type of experience—which Dr. What Kerr called “post-traumatic growth” – occurs in people of any age, including those nearing the end of life, and is characterized by personal progress after traumatic events.
“Just because you die doesn’t mean you stop living,” he declared. “You live intensely in that last period.”
Youth and originality
According to the doctor, children have different experiences at the end of life because they do not fully understand the reality of death. They often encounter creatures that comfort them and help them feel less alone. “Kids are creative and imaginative and they access that part,” he said.
A young child imagined his favorite things together in one environment. “She built a castle with a piano, a swimming pool, united animals, and a window that lets in lots of natural light.
She said, “A safe place,” answering my question about what the castle symbolized.
Link
“The doctor at the end of life reveals what it was really like in the days before death – and why there is nothing to fear.” The Sun UK. Isabel Shaw, April 23, 2024.
“Our research at the end of life.” Palliative and Hospice Care in Buffalo.
“Why Deathbed Dreams and Visions Can Be Comforting for the Dying – and Those Left Behind.” Padraig Moran, CBC, 5 May 2024
Insights shared by end-of-life physicians such as Dr. Christopher Kerr, illuminate the profound and transformative experiences that many individuals encounter as they approach death. While society often views death with fear and anxiety, patients’ stories reveal a different narrative – full of reflection, reconciliation, and unexpected comfort. In these final moments, many individuals report dreams and visions that not only help them come to terms with the past but also provide a sense of closure, allowing them to mend relationships and find peace before they pass.
The observation of Dr. Kerra underscores the complexity of the end-of-life experience, where catharsis often appears alongside unresolved emotions. Patients can return to their lives through the lens of their dreams and experience both joy and regret. This duality not only validates their life experiences but also reduces their fear of the unknown and turns the dying process into a meaningful journey rather than a moment of despair.
In addition, the unique reactions of children at the end of life remind us of the imaginative resilience inherent in youth. Their ability to conjure comforting visions reflects an instinct to cope with the daunting reality of death and highlights the different ways in which individuals process their experiences regardless of age.
Ultimately, these messages encourage us to reevaluate our perception of death. Instead of just seeing it as an endpoint, we can see it as an integral part of the human experience—a time for reflection, healing, and connection. By embracing these stories, we not only honor the lives of those who have died but also foster a greater understanding of our mortality and emphasize that even in the face of death, there can be moments of deep beauty and deep love.