QUERY:
“My 8-year-old son expressed a desire to have his ears pierced as a birthday gift. I am inclined to support his wish, but his father (we are not together) strongly opposes the idea, citing it as something exclusively for girls. This situation is causing me great distress because I don’t want his father to remove the earrings. What course of action should I take?”
The following selected responses have been curated by a moderator from numerous replies to the original query.
“Follow your own comfort level. Fathers don’t always know what’s best. If your son wants it and consents, go ahead. Most likely, he will do what my youngest son did: enjoy them for a few months, remove them, and the holes will close up. There’s no such thing as earrings exclusively for girls. Let your child be happy, even if his father disagrees. You can be the hero in his eyes.”
“Consider getting him fake earrings so he can wear them at home. I personally know many boys and men who wear earrings in various styles and for different reasons. Your ex’s opposition is extremely sexist, and his stance might even border on homophobia, depending on how far he takes it. He needs to mature.”
“I’m not sure what to do, but I recently got my 10-year-old daughter’s ears pierced about two months ago. Two little boys went before her. Ear piercing is not exclusive to girls. If there ever comes a time when your son doesn’t want earrings anymore, he can simply remove them. My husband got his ears pierced as a child, and he took them out during his teenage years.”
“Boys can have their ears pierced too. My 7-year-old mentioned last year that he might want to get his ears pierced. Now that I’m taking my 3-month-old daughter to get hers done, he confirmed that he definitely wants it. So I’ll be getting both of them pierced on the same day. If your son wants them, let him have them.”
“Everyone will have an opinion on what you should do with your child. I am the stepmother to two beautiful young girls. Before her 13th birthday, my eldest wanted her ears pierced a second time. We said no for months, but her mother insisted on getting them done at a Claire’s in the mall. However, after further discussion, she adamantly said she wanted them done professionally. A few months later, we had them done at a professional tattoo shop. Her mother was upset, claiming she never gave permission. My point is, you are just as much a parent as your ex is. Discuss the pros and cons of both perspectives—him saying no and you saying yes.”
“My 14-year-old son has his ears pierced. I made him wait until he turned 13, and then we went to a tattoo shop. Now, at 14.5 years old, he has gauged his ears.”
“My husband has his ears pierced, and he wears earrings more often than I do.”
“Go for it! Your son will only be little for a short while. Make him happy and be the best mother ever. All my boys have their ears pierced. It’s quite common these days.”