History, Lies, and Park Bench Wisdom
I’m not saying these stories are true… but if you spot an old man smiling on a park bench or a kid from Montana striding into a New York department store, just know—you might be about to witness history… or at least a very entertaining fib.
The Park Bench Duo
Frank and Charlie were inseparable, spending their afternoons on the same park bench, perfecting the fine art of doing absolutely nothing—except people-watching.
One bright summer day, a stunning young woman jogged by in tiny shorts and a sports bra. Frank’s face lit up with a grin. The girl noticed, slowed down, and marched over.
“What are you smiling at, grandpa? Creep much?” she asked.
Frank chuckled, shaking his head. “No, sweetheart. I’m smiling because seeing a pretty girl on a summer day reminds me the world’s not all bad—even at my age.”
Her frown melted into a laugh. She leaned down, kissed him on the cheek, and jogged away.
Charlie raised an eyebrow. Frank leaned back, still grinning. “Three-nothing,” he said. “Your move.”
Montana’s Greatest Salesman
Michael, a kid from a tiny Montana town, decided to try his luck in New York City. He walked into a massive department store looking for a job. The manager, humoring him, hired him—even though his only experience was selling vacuums door-to-door.
The first day went… poorly. At closing, the manager asked each employee how many sales they made. Everyone rattled off twenty, thirty, even forty. Michael mumbled, “One.”
“ONE?!” the manager shouted. “This is New York, kid, not some Montana dirt road. Average here is twenty-five. Step it up!”
Michael shrugged. “Okay… how much was the one sale?”
The manager leaned in.
Michael said, “$124,088.30.”
The manager nearly fell over. “ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY-FOUR THOUSAND?! What did you sell?”
Michael smiled. “Guy came in to buy tampons for his wife. I said, ‘Buddy, your weekend’s already ruined. Might as well go fishing.’ Ended up selling him the fishing rod, hooks, reel, a brand-new boat, and a 4×4 Dodge to tow it all.”
The next morning, Michael was promoted.
Conclusion
Sometimes the funniest moments are the simplest—an old man’s grin on a park bench, or a Montana kid selling a lifetime’s worth of fishing gear in a single afternoon. Life doesn’t always make sense, but a good story can make it a little brighter. Share a laugh—it’s free and timeless.