When Romance Comes With a Bill
When Mia told me she had the perfect guy for me — charming, respectful, and “the kind of man who still opens doors” — I didn’t expect to find myself in what felt like a social experiment. The night started like something out of a romance novel:
candles, laughter, and a man who seemed too good to be true. But the next morning, my phone buzzed with a message that turned the fairytale into a financial fiasco — a PDF “invoice” that left my jaw on the floor.
At first, Eric seemed straight out of a romantic movie: sweet texts, surprise roses, and an old-school politeness that made me think maybe Mia had nailed it. Every move felt perfectly rehearsed, as if he had memorized a manual on how to be the ideal date.
Then came the PDF.
I opened it expecting something cute or sentimental — maybe a playlist or a funny meme. Instead, I found an invoice. It itemized every “cost” of the date: a rose equaled a kiss, dinner equaled a second date, holding the door meant I owed him a selfie. At the bottom, in bold letters: “Payment due in full. No refunds.”
I sent it to Mia, who nearly choked laughing. Her boyfriend Chris joined in with a parody invoice charging Eric for “emotional damage to women everywhere,” “performative chivalry,” and “unrealistic delusions of grandeur.” We sent it back, expecting him to laugh.
He didn’t. Instead, he accused me of being immature, said I didn’t “appreciate real men,” and lectured me that I was “too modern to understand effort.” That was the final straw — I blocked him immediately. Mia apologized, but I told her it wasn’t her fault. Now, we just laugh about it over wine and cheese.
The Lesson
That bizarre experience taught me something valuable: kindness isn’t a transaction, and affection isn’t a receipt. If someone keeps score for every sweet gesture, they’re not looking for love — they’re running a business deal. Eric came expecting a return on investment, but all he got was a blocked number and a well-deserved roast.
In the end, the night didn’t end with romance — it ended with revelation. Not every charming gesture hides genuine intent, and not every “gentleman” deserves the title. Real connection isn’t built on ledgers or expectations; it’s about authenticity, laughter, and mutual respect. Eric’s invoice may have been ridiculous, but it reminded me that love isn’t about keeping score — it’s about showing up sincerely, without strings attached.