Trying to save a marriage after an affair is a very difficult process that requires decisions that will affect the rest of your life, especially when it comes to the child.
A Reddit user posted about her situation, vehemently denying any contact with her husband’s child from his extramarital affair.
My husband and I found out in 2021, after nine years of marriage, that he is being sued for child support. This shocking revelation came from his extramarital affair, which almost brought our marriage to an end. But so that I could stay in the marriage, we decided to go to a counseling center and came to an agreement.
One of those conditions was for my husband to work two jobs to pay child support without impacting our monthly expenses.
I also made it clear that I had no intention of maintaining any relationship with the child that resulted from his affair. My husband has been getting to know his baby for the past few years, but he recently told me about some “baby mama drama”.
It has come to light that his lover is to go to prison for eight months in May.
During this time, my husband felt he had to take custody of the child so that he could not move to his grandparents on the other side of the country.
A child who is attached to his current environment does not want to move from school or be separated from his parents, who are serving a local prison sentence, or his friends.
After learning this information, I left the house and returned with the apartment guide to our neighborhood to show my location. When my husband asked if I was serious, I said that my feelings hadn’t changed in the last three years. I emphasized that I had no interest in raising his child and that I was open to an amicable divorce if he chose custody, despite his pleas that the situation was unique.
I clearly stated that I would not be responsible for someone else’s child and that I stand by my decision.
Most netizens said that they think this marriage is not working.
Waiting for a response from the “men shouldn’t raise another man’s child” camp on this one. ColossalCoconut 458
Some even compared how men treat women who have children from previous relationships.
He reacts to it like a man.
“Not to raise a child that is not mine.” Even men who demand paternity tests for no apparent reason applaud you. purple_prose
The baby is here to stay. Looks like you should exit this connection and cut your losses. Sad, but you’ll probably be happier in the long run. ms_eleventy Major-Distance4270 stated: “Years ago this marriage should have ended.” VerbalGuinea responded: “The counselor is too good at his job.”
The fact that the woman stayed with her husband shocked many people.
This sad child. I hope Dad comes to get them. It’s reasonable if that’s not what you intended for your life and relationship, author. Your husband and you are on different paths. In my opinion, it makes sense that you asked him to move out and take care of his responsibilities on his own since it is his responsibility. I don’t think your marriage will last.
Please accept my apologies, but continuing with him after the affair is what led to this. The presence of a child will undoubtedly complicate your life. Offspring is not a pastime.Â
It’s absurd that the therapist permitted the fairy tale idea to persist. The wisest course of action is a divorce—not only for you and your spouse but for everyone. However, the best interests of the child must also come first. People lament that others tell them to “break up with everything,” but they don’t understand how destructive this behavior is.Â
What keeps you with him still? I do not believe that you should be raising this child in any way. However, he bears responsibility for it. And none of it was requested by this poor child. If you two just parted ways, everything would be happier and healthier.
There exist notable exceptions to the general rule that adultery has negative effects on some people.
Another woman said she would be happy to find out her husband was having an extramarital affair.
Read the complete narrative to find out what caused her to feel this way.
This Reddit user’s experience highlights the profound challenges of trying to save a marriage after an affair, especially when a child is involved. Please accept my apologies, but continuing with him after the affair is what led to this. The presence of a child will undoubtedly complicate your life. Descendants are no fun.Â
It is absurd that the therapist allowed the fairytale image to persist. Divorce is the wisest course of action – not just for you and your partner, but for everyone. However, the best interest of the child must also come first. People lament that others tell them to “get rid of everything,” but they don’t understand how destructive this behavior is.Â
What keeps you with him? I don’t believe you should raise that child in any way. However, he is responsible for it. And the poor child didn’t ask for any of it. If you had just broken up, everything would have been happier and healthier.
There are significant exceptions to the general rule that adultery has negative effects on some people.
Another woman said she would be happy to find out her husband was having an extramarital affair.
Read the full story to find out why she felt that way.
emotional turmoil, feelings of betrayal, and conflicting responsibilities make the situation incredibly complex. While the user and her husband attempted to overcome the consequences of infidelity by setting firm boundaries and seeking counseling, the discovery of new, unforeseen circumstances tested those boundaries and pushed the marriage to its limits.
The user’s decision to take a hard line and refuse any involvement with the child from her husband’s affair speaks to the deep hurt and resentment she harbors. Her determination to leave the marriage if her husband takes custody of the child underscores the irreparable damage that has been done to their relationship. Reactions from the online community indicate that many believe this marriage is beyond repair, highlighting the long-term impact of infidelity on trust and partnerships.
Ultimately, this story serves as a stark reminder of the complexities involved in reconciliation after an affair, especially when a child is involved. The user’s situation is a compelling example of how deeply personal choices, emotions, and moral considerations can affect the outcome of a relationship after such a significant breach of trust. It emphasizes the importance of honesty, and clear communication, and recognizes that in some cases, separation may be the healthiest option for all parties involved, including the innocent child caught in the middle.