Cleaning up after housework can be quite exhausting, especially after entertaining guests.
After Sunday visits from her in-laws, Bright Side reader Holly feels overwhelmed and her husband offers her a little help.
He is looking for guidance on how to deal with the circumstances.
This is the letter Holly sent:
Holly, I appreciate you sharing your story.
We hope that the advice we have prepared for you will be useful to you.
Set clear guidelines and communicate expectations to everyone.
Talk to your husband and his family calmly and honestly. After their visits, talk about your feelings about the circumstances and the stress it is causing you. Acknowledge their help in buying a home in the past, but emphasize that keeping the house clean is the main goal now.
Make it clear to them what you need from them, including help with washing dishes, cleaning, or even cleaning services.
Change who controls the events.
How about designing a Sunday lunch rotation system where different family members take turns hosting? This way, everyone takes turns cleaning and hosting, so no one feels overworked or taken advantage of.
To promote a sense of fairness and shared responsibility among family members, suggest that each host make sure their home is tidy before and after the event.
Think about asking others for help.
If you find it difficult to talk directly with your spouse and his family, consider getting help from a third party, such as a mediator or counselor. They can lead productive discussions and help find solutions that can be accepted by all parties.
Talk to an expert to help you effectively manage family dynamics and resolve disagreements.
Stay calm and don’t let the tension get to you.
Remember to practice self-care to look out for yourself. Realize that despite the demands of relatives, you have the right to set boundaries in your own home.
Schedule frequent self-care routines, such as a relaxing bath, a walk, or your favorite pastime. Never forget that self-care is essential to your pleasure and overall well-being; it is not selfishness.
Managing in-law relationships can be challenging. One of our readers, Nadine, had a problem when her in-laws invited everyone but her children to dinner.
Dealing with family dynamics, especially when it involves hosting and maintaining a household, can be complex and emotionally draining. Holly, your concerns about feeling overwhelmed after your in-laws visit are valid and it is important to address these feelings constructively.
By setting clear expectations and communicating openly with your spouse and in-laws, you can create a more balanced arrangement that will ease some of your burden. Designing a rotating hosting system can ensure a fair sharing of responsibilities, giving everyone a share in maintaining the home. If direct conversations are difficult, involving a neutral third party could facilitate better understanding and resolution.
Remember to prioritize your well-being and set boundaries that allow you to stay calm. Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity to maintain your happiness and health. Balancing family responsibilities with personal comfort is key to fostering harmonious relationships while maintaining a manageable home environment.
Family dynamics can often present unexpected challenges, but with clear communication and mutual respect, it is possible to find solutions that work for everyone involved.