Whether through physical acts or emotional distance, infidelity can cause serious damage to a partnership.
A woman was left in shock and despair after learning of her husband’s nasty statements about her, as described in a recent post on Reddit. She sought support and direction from the online community to process this terrible realization and decide what to do next.
She wrote:
“I have been married for 11 years and have been with my husband for 15 years.” A fantastic partnership, with occasional hiccups of course, but nothing like this.
Until over a month ago when he said that a new food stand had opened outside his office and that he started eating lunch there instead because it was so amazing, I always cooked him lunch to take to work. After that he just stopped inviting me to lunch. I think I bagged him five during that period, although I’m not even sure he ate them at the time.’
“My husband called me the other day, at first I thought he was calling about his lunch break, but it turns out he called me. He was talking to someone and I only heard his voice at first.” I was about to hang up when I heard another voice at work, I muted my call and listened because I was getting curious. At first it was just a typical conversation between two people, which naturally led to the fact that I realized he had lunch prepared by a colleague.
But when I heard her ask, “So tell me, was it better than your wife?” I burst out laughing. My husband replied, “Oh yes, without a doubt!” Of course she tries, but yours wasn’t indifferent at first, and then she laughed.
What’s the point now? After 15 years of cooking, does he now have any regrets? And not me at all, but a fellow employee? Plus, it’s definitely not innocent on her end, is it? This is so strange; why did she even raise me?
Still, I got mad, hung up the phone and texted him, “stop worrying about my bad cooking” and “go ahead and eat out of the trash.”
“He apologized and said he was just trying to look cool around his co-worker and that he loves my food. When I asked him why he lied to me about where he got his lunch, he explained that he got it from that stall first, but he didn’t want to tell me because he was afraid I might envy him.
I’ve been exhibiting it ever since. I haven’t made him lunch or dinner since he said he hated it so much, and to be honest, it still pisses me off. He apologized today and said I shouldn’t punish him like this anymore, but I’m literally one step away from calling my parents. My clothes are ready in the suitcase I keep under our bed.
My mom supports me no matter what, but my dad believes it was a stupid comment and we should work it out. To be honest, I just want some confirmation if going away for a few days is the wisest course of action.
When other redditors chimed in, they confirmed the woman’s suspicions with these comments:
Even for a colleague at work, verbally belittling your wife and swearing at her in an attempt to sound cool is problematic.
However, it’s very inappropriate to do this with a co-worker while she’s eating the lunch she brought for him and she feels comfortable enough to start the denigration. They are most certainly on their way to a physical relationship and undoubtedly have at least an emotional one. © Reddit/SingleBat5604
There are several problems associated with this circumstance.
The least worrying thing is the cooking note. Everything about it—the lunch, the woman, the note about the food, preparing to refuse the lunch, laughing and trying to hide it all—would really piss me off. I would run far and fast. © Reddit / Mindless Analyzing
A married man is not someone I would ask if my kitchen is better than his wife’s. However, I would not prepare food for a married colleague either. And why exactly did he have to strike this fellow as “cool”? He does this because he is attracted to her.
If not, he could simply state, “My wife makes amazing food, but this is different for a change.” In addition, he misrepresented the source of his meals. You’ve entered the realm of affairs when you start lying to your partner so you can spend time with someone you find attractive. © Reddit/AWindUpBird
To look good in front of a co-worker, did he insult you? Like, how? If he wasn’t trying to get her, it’s incomprehensible. How insulting to belittle you and ignore the fact that you have cared for him for years! If I were you, it would undoubtedly be a slap in the face. I’m sorry honey! © Reddit/Hexagonsnsuch
Although it sounds like an iceberg, I’d like to think it sounds innocent. There is much more beneath the surface of what you are just beginning to perceive. He creates an inappropriate relationship with her and lies to you.
What kind of woman would cook a meal for a married co-worker every day?
The one who tries to take your friend away from you is the correct answer. Besides, your husband should not talk bad about you. If he hasn’t physically cheated on you yet, psychological betrayal is at least as terrible. Never forget that you are a powerful woman who deserves love and respect. * / Reddit / Lieselmini
At best, he is involved in an emotional affair. At the very least, he needs to change departments or find another career. I would make it clear to my husband that I will no longer be in his life if he keeps this woman in him.
Every day emotional relationships become physical. © Ladyvett via Reddit
We explore the emotional experience of another woman in another post who witnessed her husband’s surprising comment during a therapy session cause her self-confidence to crumble.Â
The emotional fallout from your partner snubbing you in front of a colleague can be devastating. This woman’s experience underscores the deep pain and betrayal that can stem from such acts. She spent 15 years preparing her husband’s lunches, but found that he underestimated her cooking when trying to impress a colleague. The emotional impact of this revelation was compounded by the disrespect she felt and the lies about where his lunches came from.
Reactions from the Reddit community underscore the consensus: the behavior is disturbing, suggesting an emotional or potentially physical issue. The woman’s decision to stop cooking for him and considering leaving for a few days reflects her pain and desire for space to process her feelings. The various opinions of Reddit users emphasize the importance of addressing such issues head-on, as they often signal deeper problems in a relationship.
Ultimately, this situation requires open communication and reflection on the dynamics of the relationship. It is important for a woman to consider her own needs and boundaries and for her husband to recognize the seriousness of his actions. Seeking support from friends, family or a counselor can provide additional clarity and help in making informed decisions about the future of their relationship.