Mixing families can be a delicate and sometimes volatile way, especially when unresolved problems appear in a way that no one could predict.
What begins as a promising attempt to create a harmonious home can quickly convert to the battle of wills.
When emotions run high and the lines between love and discipline blur, hard decisions must be made – determination that may seem impossible to navigate.
What happens when the heart of their parents attracts them in one direction, but their responsibility for creating a stable environment for all attracts them in another?
This is exactly the dilemma in which the mother finds herself forced to make an unbearable choice that would affect not only her daughter but her whole family. The events that followed were nothing but the roller coaster of emotional confusion, so the family left on the brink of disintegration.
Here’s her view of what happened:
(34f) were married to my husband, Jason (39 m), three years. He has two daughters, Emily (10f) and Lily (8f), from his previous marriage. I also have a daughter Ava (12f) from my previous relationship. She always fought with her stepfamily. The settings were not easy, but I did my best to create a harmonious mixed family. Ava, however, has been extremely grossly from Jason and his daughters from the first day.
He refuses to involve them, calls Jason “The Guy mum, instead of his name, and directly said Eto, mil,y and Lily that they” do not belong here “. I talked to her countless times, grounded her and, and took away her privileges – nothing. Jason was patient and understood, but I see how they wear it. Last week was a turning point. She caught her half -sister with her artistic needs.
Ava Came Home From School, saw Emily playing with Her Art Supplies (with permission), and said, ”Get Your Dirty Hands Off My Stuff, You Little Brother! Shot Back, “You’re Not My Dad, SO Don’t Tell Me What To Do!” That night I sat her down and explained that her behavior was unacceptable.
“Avo, it’s not fair to anyone.” You are evil and have to stop, ”I said.
She crossed her hands and looked at me. “You’re always on their side.” Maybe I should just leave, so you can all be happy. ”
Her words growl and I finally gave out, “If you can’t respect our family, you won’t join us for Christmas.” When she heard that she couldn’t come to Christmas this year, things were thrown into the air.
“You’re the worst mom ever!” One day you will be sorry! “She screamed before she attacked her room.
Fast forward to the night after the argument. Later I woke up at 2 o’clock by buzzing the phone. An unknown number called me five times before I finally answered. On the other hand, I heard the voice of a strange man saying, “Do you think you can only leave your daughter and get with it?”
I stiffened. “Who is it?”
The man laughed darkly. “A friend who thinks you need a wake-up call.”
Scared, I hung up and checked the Avu, but her bed was empty. I immediately called her phone and she picked up on the other line.
“Avo, where are you?!” I demanded.
It was smug. “Don’t worry, I’m safe.” Maybe now you realize what a terrible mother you are. ”
It turned out that Ava went to her father’s house without telling me. She took my threats to Christmas and turned them into a sole story that called me a strange man – his brother – to scare me.
Jason was alive when he found out, and called Ava’s dad to correct the record. Meanwhile, my family threw my phone and called me cruel for forbidding the Academy of Sciences of Christmas, and said it was my work unconditionally to love it, even if it is difficult. Now I feel stuck. I love my daughter, but her behavior is out of control. Jason says I made the right call and that Ava needs hard love, but my mom called me and said I would move my daughter away. Ava still refuses to apologize and doubles down, and says I choose my “new family” for her.
I went too far or it was necessary for all involved.
Mixing families can be a demanding process, especially when children try to adapt to new family dynamics. In this emotional story, the mother finds herself facing a difficult choice after her twelve -year -old daughter constantly does not respect her husband and stepdaughter. As the tension increases, the mother decides to rule out her daughter from Christmas celebrations, evoke a number of emotional events, tense relationships, and an unexpected phone call in the middle of the night, and eventually leave the torn family.
Here is a mother’s description of what happened:
I (34f) got married to my husband Jason (39m) for three years. He has two daughters, Emily (10f) and Lily (8f), from his previous marriage. I also have a daughter Ava (12f) from my past relationship. Ava has always fought to adapt to her stepchildren. The processing process was difficult, but I did my best to support the peaceful mixed family. Unfortunately, Ava was very disrespectful from the beginning to Jason and his daughters. He refuses to engage with them, refers to Jason as “The Guy Mom “, rather than his name, and openly said to Emily and Lily that he” does not belong here “.
I had numerous interviews with her, grounded it and took privileges, but it seems that nothing will help. Jason remained patient, but I see that he is beginning to wear. Last week things reached a turning point. Ava came home from school to find Emily through her artistic needs (with permission) and exploded.
Ava shouted, “Snip your dirty hands out of my things, you little brat!” Then she destroyed Emily’s art project. Jason hit, but Ava baked, “You’re not my dad, so don’t tell me what to do!” That night I sat her down to explain that her behavior was not acceptable.
“Avo, it’s not fair to anyone.” You are harmful and have to stop, ”I said.
She crossed her hands and looked at me. “You’re always on their side.” Maybe I should just leave, so you can all be happy. ”
Her words were cut deep and finally lost patience. “If you can’t respect this family, you won’t come to Christmas this year,” I told her.
When she realized she wouldn’t be included in Christmas, everything was out of control.
“You’re the worst mom ever!” One day you will regret it! “She screamed before she attacked her room.
The next night I woke up at 2 o’clock by buzzing the phone. An unknown number called me five times before I finally answered. On the other hand, I heard the male voice saying, “Do you think you can only leave your daughter and escape with it?”
I stiffened. “Who is it?”
The man laughed darkly. “A friend who thinks you need a wake-up call.”
He panicked, hung up and rushed to check the Avu. Her bed was empty. I immediately called her phone and she got up on the second ring.
“Avo, where are you?” I demanded.
It was smug. “Don’t worry, I’m fine.” Maybe now you’ll understand what you are, a terrible mother. ”
Ava went to her father’s house without telling me. She took my threat at Christmas and turned it into a sob story, which then called his brother to scare me.
Jason was frantic when he found out and contacted Ava’s father to clean things. Up Meanwhile, my family called me and said I was cruel for not allowing Ava to join Christmas, and insisted that I should love it unconditionally, even if it is difficult.
Now I feel torn. I love my daughter, but her behavior is out of control. Jason supports my decision and believes that Ava needs hard love, but my mom called me in tears and said I was pushing the Academy away. Ava still refuses to apologize and insists that I choose my “new family” for it.
I went too far or were it necessary measures for all involved?
In the end, her mother finds herself at the crossroads, torn between her love for her daughter and the need to keep peace in her mixed family. Her decision to exclude Ava from Christmas was an act of hard love, which was to prove that disrespectful behavior would not be tolerated. However, the fall of this decision was emotionally stunning, and Ava felt rejected and her family was divided into a selection.
The mother acknowledges that her daughter’s behavior is unacceptable, but also fights with the fear that she will push her permanently. When it navigates the complexity of family dynamics, it leaves questioning whether its actions were justified or eventually cause irreparable damage to its relationship with Ava. Although it is determined to create a harmonious family environment, it is also painfully aware of the gentle balance between discipline and love. Only time will show whether this hard approach of love will eventually lead to growth and healing or whether it will deepen the abyss.