An account shared by an anonymous poster on the “AITA” forum in January 2024 reveals a story of unexpected confusion during what was supposed to be a joyous family gathering at an upscale steakhouse.
The OP, considerably wealthier than their family members, were blindsided when they arrived to find a much larger group than anticipated, resulting in a staggering bill to pay. Despite her history of generosity and support for her family, OP felt taken advantage of and reacted strongly, leaving the restaurant and subsequently cutting off financial assistance to their family. The consequences of their actions reverberated through family dynamics, leading to ostracism and strained relationships. The story received widespread support from Redditors who empathized with the OP’s predicament and condemned the family’s behavior.
At a fancy steakhouse that was supposed to be the scene of a happy family reunion, one person was taken aback by a group that was almost three times larger than usual. The mood was upbeat when the toasts were made, but quickly soured when the unsuspecting host learned they would be responsible for what turned out to be a huge bill.
An anonymous poster on the “AITA” forum posted their story in January 2024. The original poster (OP), a prosperous relative to his family, traveled a lot for work. On their visits, they tried to get to know everyone, often taking the family to dinner.
Despite the difference in OP’s income, she usually paid pocket money and occasionally indulged in good meals, but more often chose cheaper options. They were unapologetic about their generosity, citing their help in organizing family vacations and buying a car for their mother as evidence of their willingness to help.
With little time to spare, OP returned to town for the holidays and prepared for a family reunion at her mother’s urging. When they got there, the OP saw a text message from their mother a few hours earlier pointing them to a fancy steakhouse. This wasn’t usually how expensive dinners started, so it made them feel a little uncomfortable.
Their niece, who was not present but heard from others, said the family was in disbelief.
When OP arrived at the restaurant, he saw something unexpected. “When I arrive, there’s a big party at the restaurant. My stepdad, mom, cousins, grandparents, neighbors, among others.”
Our family dinners usually have six people. My family is small and the ones I have are not very close. It was around twenty people,” OP recalled.
The evening took an unexpected turn when OP’s grandmother’s neighbor, whom they had only waved at before, proposed a toast. The toast signaled the beginning of an unexpected series of events by highlighting the OP’s generosity in paying the bill.
OP was surprised by the lavish celebration at the sight of her mother with the beetroot on the first course, as she had expected a more low-key encounter.
With everyone munching on cocktails, tons of appetizers, and expensive steaks that cost between $80 and $250 apiece, a quick mental calculation indicated that the meal would cost at least $4,000.
The OP angrily stated, “I’m not paying for dinner,” leaving only $100 on the table before hurriedly leaving. Since their phone was constantly beeping, the OP decided to turn it off, go to bed, and leave the next day without saying goodbye.
Even after the OP realized that their handling of the matter was subpar, he was still plagued by the feeling that he had been taken advantage of. They added to the drama by telling their mother that her scholarship would no longer be paid each month. “I know I’m not with dinner but I’m more interested in my reaction [sic],” OP said.
After that, OP hesitantly picked up the phone because her mother kept begging them. The OP apologized for the attack and asked for forgiveness, but instead of being given a friendly hand, they were accused of being rude, self-centered, greedy, and cruel.
The confused OP questioned the validity of such designations, pointing to the generous support they have provided over the years – two cars, a remodeled bathroom, a new roof, new appliances, and money for multiple family vacations, to name a few gestures.
The OP reacted violently because they were upset and frustrated with the lack of recognition.
In a flash of steely resolve, they vowed to stop helping anyone who didn’t deserve it.
Not long after that, OP started a chain reaction of cancellations that included six AT&T lines, internet services, streaming accounts that were either completely canceled or had their passwords changed, the cars being removed from AAA coverage, their mother’s car insurance being terminated, and the credit card that they provided. OP’s brave decision to stop the free-ride era left their family facing the consequences of their lack of gratitude.
In the updates that followed, the OP discovered that the impact of their brave actions was still having an impact on the family dynamic.
Their niece, who was not present but heard from others, said the family was in disbelief. The family reluctantly agreed to split the $700 cost as they tried to cancel the remainder of the meal, which included appetizers and drinks.
Their mother’s increasingly nasty voicemails, which increased in frequency as OP grew older, led them to decide to stop taking calls and delete their messages. The OP stated that time to think was necessary and told their mother that the chat could not take place until the following month.
The fallout went beyond the immediate family when OP found out they weren’t invited to her cousin’s wedding because they didn’t want “drama” but were still expected to bring a gift. The conversation that had once been animated about an upcoming family trip died down.
OP found out at the meeting with their niece that there wasn’t much forgiveness or remorse in the family. Rather, there seemed to be a general consensus that characterized them as a monster that was greedy and cruel, causing the OP to become ostracized as a result of their bold attitude.
Redditors overwhelmingly supported the OP’s story and universally referred to them as “NTAs”. “Everyone else at that table ‘knew’ you were going to pay for dinner, but you,” one user commented. How strange. It was really disrespectful to your mother and family to put you in that situation. And I’m not sure how you could have responded more effectively.”
“Your mother was completely inappropriate in all of this.
Starting with the assumption that you will pay, choosing this expensive location, and inviting so many people. She should really apologize to you,” said another user.
“Your family invited the neighbors over!? Do you even know these people? Wait, it doesn’t matter. And they all had drinks and appetizers and steak… Paying for yourself and leaving was totally appropriate. The golden goose took advantage and the golden goose left and cut mom,” another commenter stated.
After an unexpected and exorbitant bill at a fancy restaurant, the impact of the OP’s courageous decision to refuse payment and withdraw financial support for their family was significant. Despite attempts at reconciliation and apology, the OP has found herself accused of greed and cruelty by her family members, leading to broken relationships and even exclusion from important events such as her cousin’s wedding. Redditors overwhelmingly supported the OP’s actions, condemned the family’s behavior, and affirmed the OP’s right to set boundaries. As the situation unfolds, it highlights the complexity of family dynamics and the importance of mutual respect and gratitude in maintaining healthy relationships.
Who wrote this story? He, then her, then they? Ridiculous!