It is a situation that sounds almost too good – those recurring moments when something small turns into something much larger, and before you know frustration is cooked.
Imagine a woman who has been with a man for several months and enjoys regular trips with him and his children, just to constantly get an account for everyone. At first, it did not seem like a big problem, but when the same pattern was repeated, its patience was thin.
What began as minor inconveniences escalated quickly to a full-fledged argument with accusations of selfishness and disrespect. So what would you do if you were in her shoes? Would you continue to be the one who always paid or would you stand up?
The story of this woman may seem relative to some, but raises some important issues regarding the boundaries, justice, and the subtle boundaries between generosity and use.
A 32-year-oldd woman was in a relationship with her 39-year-old boyfriend for several months when she began to notice a recurring problem whenever she went. After some time she was frustrated and decided that it was time to act. The woman was dating her boyfriend, who has two small children, for about nine months.
They had a heated argument about a recurring situation that harassed her. She felt confused and angry and turned to Reddit to seek advice on whether her answer was justified. Many people shared their thoughts about their friend’s behavior and considered the situation.
The woman was particularly concerned because the incident occurred in front of her friend’s children and accused her of being selfish for not considering them. She explained that her friend’s children enjoyed the canteen, so they usually went to restaurants once a week. But there was one problem – every time they came out, her boyfriend would somehow “forget” the wallet at home. At first, it did not bother her, but she was recently frustrated because she had often covered his bills in the last month, which began to take a tax on her finances.
One evening, after receiving her payment from the second part-time work, she went to dinner again with her boyfriend and his children. She knew about her friend’s habit of forgetting his wallet, so he decided to write him as a reminder. The message was wiped with laughing. When they arrived at the restaurant, his children ordered expensive dishes from the offer. Before they started eating, she asked him about his wallet, just to make sure he remembered it this time. He seemed to be stunned, checked his pockets, and then admitted he forgot it at home and said, “I thought I would wear other jeans.”
Then he asked if she could cover the dinner account, but until now the woman had reached her turning point. She grabbed her stuff and prepared to leave the restaurant without food. When her boyfriend saw her out, he asked what she was doing. She told him he wouldn’t pay for him and his children and came out.
Later, her boyfriend called her and accused her of being selfish for leaving him in this situation and his children. She replied that it was unfair to her to keep paying for food. He claimed he had forgotten his wallet and accused her of missing compassion for him and his children. He even told her that they had to cancel their order of food and take their children home hungry because they couldn’t pay for their food.
The argument continued and insisted that she needed to reconsider how she treated her children, and claimed that she was willing to leave them hungry for her selfishness.
When she shared her side of the story on Reddit, she mentioned that her boyfriend was still angry with her in the incident. Many Reddit users scored with her and believed that her friend used her.
If you were in her shoes, what would you do? She was right to come out to her friend and his children after forgetting his wallet, or should she pay for food and solve herself later?
In conclusion, the frustration of a woman is understandable because of the ongoing pattern of her friend repeatedly forgetting the wallet and relying on it to cover the costs. Although it is important to consider the feelings of children and the context of the situation, the decision of a woman to leave was a clear expression of her borders and financial restrictions.
Relationships are based on mutual respect and justice and repeatedly expecting that one partner will bear the financial burden, can cause a grudge. Finally, the situation requires open communication and a shift of responsibility from a friend to avoid further conflicts and ensure that both partners feel appreciated and supported.