Strong relationships in relationships require support, respect, and trust. However, some spouses may try to dominate the other, which could cause tension and imbalance.
This behavior can take many forms, from subtly manipulating others to overtly dominating them, and is often driven by psychological issues, power dynamics, or insecurity. A Reddit user recently asked the internet community for advice regarding her unreasonable demand from her husband.
She wrote:
“My husband has never done anything as strange as this. I adore him more than anything and he is a very kind and loving husband. My husband has always displayed some eccentric behavior.”
Although he is quite intelligent and works as a computer programmer, he has a wide range of beliefs. both authentic and deceptive.Â
Lately, he’s really interested in the environment and global warming. About two months ago he started to worry a lot about the water. Water, really. They are worried about the purity of the water.
Our house has a new filtration system that he installed and I really like it because it tastes so much better.
However, he is also concerned about our water consumption. The reason is the environment, not the money. We are limited to two showers each week, according to the new rule he put in place. These days I enjoy showering every night before bed. Simply put, I don’t like feeling dirty in bed.”
Our marriage has never been as contentious as it is now, 20 years later. He has developed an obsession with how much water we use.
At first, I didn’t respect his order, but when I was taking a shower, he turned off the hot water. I’ve started trying to use the shower at the gym, but with kids, it’s just too much work to go to every night. To be honest, I assumed it would pass in a month. But even now he remains fixated on it.
I really needed a shower last night, but as he says, “I hit my quota.” I told him to shut up because I was taking a shower. However, he turned off the hot water after about two minutes. I took a towel, knelt down, and started screaming. Informing him that it’s the dumbest thing he’s ever done. live encore, I threatened to move live with my parents if he didn’t stop.
Gentlemen, I really adore this man, but now I feel stuck.
I love him so much but I can’t take it anymore. Is threatening to leave going too far?”
Other redditors shared their thoughts and suggestions in the comments section, writing things like:Â
You can decide what to do. Keep living this way and realize that what is water now may be food tomorrow. Alternatively, you can tell him straight up that his beliefs are ridiculous and that you don’t care about anything else.
He sounds like a bit of a crazy guy mixed with a wise guy. Since computers use more energy than anything else, maybe he should choose a career in something less harmful to the environment. See how ridiculous that sounds?
Sounds like a case of mental illness, like he’s obsessed with saving water. Moving out for a while might be a good idea and I think you should start going to marriage counseling. In my opinion, neither of you should file for divorce right away, nor does it seem like they are checking just for the sake of checking.
Here is the ecologist. I work in a region of the world where drought and climate change have seriously affected people. There is nothing particularly hygienic, scientific, or sensible about what your partner is doing. Individuals who have lived in areas significantly drier than your own for decades, and who have always used water with great care, still maintain a higher standard of hygiene than your husband allows.
Every day, you and your spouse can save water by taking a quick shower and still feel clean and cozy. Besides, not showering at all doesn’t save a significant amount of water, and the cost to your emotional well-being just isn’t worth it.
Regardless, this has nothing to do with saving water because your husband doesn’t affect anything related to water. This is related to controlling and compulsive behavior. Regardless of whether you move out or not, you should urge him to see a therapist immediately because you love him and won’t leave him.
I hate it when individuals act in such a controlling way and this is one of those things. Household water use pales in comparison to businesses that actually harm the environment.
Turning off hot water while showering is a step too far in my opinion.
It is reasonable to express preferences and make demands, but it is violent to take away another person’s bodily autonomy. Even though turning off the hot water is a passive-aggressive move, he’s still dealing with whether or not his wife can take care of herself.Â
While I wouldn’t file for divorce right away, I would highly recommend counseling him about why he thinks he has the right to control others and how to stop it. You’re also doing the right thing by continuing until they solve their problems. To understand why you love this man so much when it is clearly not returned in a healthy way that respects your boundaries, seeing a therapist may also help. This is more than just a special personal interest or a special personality trait.
Ironically, the technology needs a lot of water to produce and use. According to him, how are data centers and servers cooled? He probably uses Al as a coder, which is a major user of water, to the point that environmentalists are becoming rather concerned.
The situation described reveals a complex and disturbing dynamic in the relationship between a Reddit user and her husband. While the husband’s interest in environmental issues is commendable, his extreme precautions and controlling behavior have created considerable tension and emotional strain in their marriage. The shift from concern to obsession—manifested by his restrictive water rules and passive-aggressive actions—severely affected their quality of life and personal autonomy.
Redditors offered a range of perspectives, highlighting that the issue goes beyond mere environmentalism to include scrutiny and potential mental health concerns.
The consensus suggests that while the husband’s intentions may be rooted in a genuine desire to conserve resources, his methods are counterproductive and damaging to their relationship. Suggestions included seeking marriage counseling to address underlying issues and considering individual therapy for both partners to navigate this challenging time.
Ultimately, the board leaned toward finding a balance between addressing the husband’s fixation and maintaining personal boundaries. Moving temporarily or seeking professional help can provide the necessary space for reflection and resolution. The situation underlines the importance of mutual respect for needs and boundaries in a relationship and constructive resolution of potentially harmful behavior.