For years, I have worn the weight of our household, cared for children, drove home, and made sure everything was running smoothly, while my husband, Henry, focused on his career.
I never minded myself; After all, it was our arrangement and I was happy to contribute in my way. But recently something has shifted. Henry’s attitude changed and it wasn’t in the direction I expected.
His comments about me “don’t do anything all day” and “lazy” began to stab. I thought I knew him well, but his words made me question everything. Couldn’t he see all the work I did? Something had to change.
I knew a little that the change would come from something as simple as the conversion of the role.
Over the last decade, I have devoted myself to the education of my children. I once imagined having a flourishing career, but now I’m a proud mother of four. I love my children more than anything else, but let’s be real – because my mom is exhausting. Each parent will tell you, it’s like a full-time job. My husband, Henry, and I had an agreement: it provides a family and I take care of the house and children. I never complained about this arrangement.
Recently, however, Henry began to comment on how I “do nothing all day” and how lazy I am. The turning point came when I asked him to grab something from the upper shelf, and he exploded and accused me of being pampered while working on the bones. I was impressed.
So I suggested that we switch the roles for a few days – staying at home as a “housewife” and going to his office.
Since we agreed to switch places, I saw Henry’s excessive confidence – he thought it would be easy. On the first day, he waved me to his office, and I was convinced that he would have a house without staining and the children under control until noon.
But at the time I returned home that evening, the living room told another story. The children ran wildly, the toys were scattered everywhere, and Henry was forfeited to the couch, the child in one arm, and stared slightly at the chaos around him. His shirt was covered in spit, a half-boiled dinner was on the stove.
When I walked, he just looked at me, defeated. “How do you do it every day?” He asked his voice soft. I couldn’t help but laugh. It was only the first day and he was already throwing a towel!
On the third day, he completely changed his perspective. He not only admitted how hard my work is, but also forced me to break off, apologized for every time he called me lazy, and promised that he would never take his role for granted.
Needless to say, our arrangement is now much more balanced.
At the end of our little experiment, Henry gained newly discovered recognition for the calls of parenting and household management. It wasn’t just about exhaustion; It was a constant act of juggling, which comes with the care of four children and running home. I saw a change in it – not only in his actions but in his attitude. Our roles are now much more balanced and he is more supportive than ever. It took some reversal of the role to understand it, but I’m glad it happened. Now we are both better partners in this crazy and rewarding parenting.