Marriage is a delicate dance – a dance that thrives in balance, trust, and a healthy dose of humor.
But sometimes one step on the other’s legs and the rhythm is a bit unconventional. In my case it was not just a mistake; It was a complete collision, with the kind permission of my husband Jake and his newly discovered guru Steve.
What followed was a gale of absurd expectations, a control list of a “perfect wife” and a lesson in how far I would go to defend my dignity – and our marriage. Let me go through the chaos.
I have always liked that I am constant in our marriage. Jake, bless him, was easily attracted to new obsessions, whether it was a hobby or some video on YouTube promising results changing life in three easy steps.
We were fine until Jake met Steve.
Steve was the type of person who was wrong about the right of law and shot down anyone who tried to remedy him.
Steve was the habit of (greatly shocked) to have a habit of getting used to the junk advice about the relationship with their marital collaborators, including Jake. Jake, who usually had a better sense, somehow fell under Steve’s charm. Steve’s trust was obviously irresistible.
I wiped it first. But then Jake began to parrot Steve’s views.
“Steve says that relationships are doing when a wife is managed by a household,” Jake informed me one day. Other times: “Steve thinks women should always look good for their husbands, no matter how long they have been married.”
I overturned my eyes and burned sarcastic retort, but I was on my nerves. Jake changed. He would have sighed dramatically if I had the laundry accumulated because God was banned, and I also had a full-time job. And I am not interested in his reaction when I bring home instead of cooking.
But a real kicker came one evening when Jake walked with the list.
He sat down at the kitchen table, developed a piece of paper, and slipped it.
“I was thinking,” he began in a tone that was condescending even completely out of character. “You’re a wonderful wife, Liso, but there’s room for improvement.”
My eyebrows fired. “Seriously?”
He nodded and did not know blissfully about the mine he entered. “Yeah. Steve made me realize that our marriage could be even better if you did a little stronger. ”
I looked down at the paper and fought with a desire to laugh. Above it was bold: “Lisa is a weekly routine to become a better woman”.
Jake, with Steve’s “expertise”, planned my whole week. According to this masterpiece, I was supposed to get up every day at 5 am to make a gourmet breakfast and then head to the gym to “stay in shape”. Then I had a complete list of housework – cleaning, ironing, NG, and laundry – all before I got to work. The evenings were supposed to be spent cooking from scratch and whipping refreshments for Jake and his friends during their night gathering in our house.
I stared at him, completely confused. Was it serious?
“It will be great for you – and for us,” he added, his enthusiasm is completely wrong. “Steve says the structure is crucial and I think you will really benefit from the schedule.”
Courage. I was considering throwing the list back into his face, but instead, I smiled sweetly.
“Do you know what, Jake?” You’re right, this schedule is a great idea. I’ll start tomorrow. ”
The relief that washed over him was almost cute. Almost. When I recorded the list in the fridge, I promised quietly that they had no idea what was coming.
The next morning I read a ridiculous schedule again and decided to take things into the notch. If Jake made me a “perfect wife”, he would have to meet me halfway – or more precisely, 10 miles along the way of absurdity.
I opened my laptop and created my own list: “Jake’s plan to be the best husband ever.” If I had to meet his expectations, he would also have to make some changes.
I started with all costs associated with its requirements.
“$ 1,200 for a personal trainer,” I wrote.
“$ 700 per month for organic, without food.”
And because gourmet cooking was not exactly in my wheel: “$ 1,500 for culinary classes.”
Furthermore, I had to deal with a time commitment. If I had to fully commit myself to this routine, I wouldn’t exist, and I wouldn’t have my job. So I added, “$75,000 a year to replace the Press because she will now be a full-time personal assistant, Cook, and Maid.”
Yeah, and let’s not forget his friends. They would need their own space to hang out.
“$50,000 to build a separate’ Man Cave ‘so Jake’s friends won’t disturb the structured prescription schedule.”
When I was done, the list was a financial nightmare, but it was perfect. I printed it and left it on the kitchen counter.
When Jake returned home that evening, he immediately noticed the paper
“What is that?” Asked and picked it up.
“It’s just a small list I created for you,” I said with a smile. “To help you become the best husband ever.”
At first, he laughed and said it was a joke. But as he read on, his smile disappeared.
“$ 75,000?” $ 1,200 for a personal trainer? Liso, what is it? ”
“Well, you wanted me to hold on to your plan, right?” I thought I would need some sources – and time – to do it right. ”
He stared at paper and the reality of his own absurdity hit him like a ton of brick.
“I … I didn’t want it to be like that,” he tripped. “Steve sounded so simple, but now … Oh, Liso, I was an idiot, wouldn’t it?”
“Yeah,” I replied, crossing my hands. “Jake, marriage is not about turning your husband into a self-harmful project.” This is a respect. And if you ever try something like that again, it will cost much more than it is on paper. ”
Jake sighed, and his shoulders fell. “I’m sorry.
“Okay,” I said. “Now let’s shred this list and return to the equal.”
Together we struggled both lists and felt for the first time as a team for the first time in weeks.
Marriage is not about perfection; It is a partnership. And sometimes it reminds you of a little chaos.
Jake’s misleading attempt to improve our marriage proved to be a blessing in disguise. By confronting our actions with humor and practicality, we were able to wait for an interview about respect and partnership. It was not easy to keep calm when he faced this ridiculous list, but to find a way to show him the absurdity of his expectations without direct anger, helped us achieve a solution. It reminded me that sometimes a little creativity in conflict resolution is a long way.
When we tore the lists together, I saw humility in Jake’s eyes. It was not just an apology – it was recognizing the value of equality in our relationship. Realized that marriage is not about assigning roles or maintaining a score; It is about mutual support and appreciation of what everyone brings to the table. This experience, albeit frustrating, eventually strengthened our bond and served as a lesson in the dangers of dismissing the external influences that dictate how we treat each other.
Jake’s revelation also strengthened the importance of open communication and mutual respect. We are far from perfect, but that’s what our real relationship makes. In the end, we left the suffering with a renewed feeling of teamwork and shared laughs at the absurdity of it all. These are moments like these that remind me why we have chosen each other – and why, despite our mistakes, we always find the way back to be partners in every sense of the word.