Relationships with ex-partners can be difficult to manage, especially if children are involved. In today’s story, a woman is dealing with her husband’s ex-partner, who feels that he should support her and her children financially, which complicates things further.
“My husband has two children from a previous marriage and I am the parent of one.
We have no children together. His ex-wife and their children live about twenty minutes away. At first, she exhibited a few annoying behaviors, nothing too serious.
She always makes snide remarks about me working too much and compares my relationship with my partner to her previous marriage. She acts as judgmental and justified. I told her that one day she would have to leave her previous association with my husband because I had had enough.
My husband unexpectedly supported me and she stopped acting like that.”
This is where it gets tricky. She is dependent on her children to get more time and money from my husband as she has been unemployed for the previous 15 years. Lately, she has been using her health problems as an excuse not to drive alone and to get sympathy from my husband. She asked him to go with her to doctor’s appointments. He even wants to go everywhere with us with the kids even though he lives close to his boyfriend and family.
She recently told my husband that she is not well enough to take care of her children.
The children currently share care and come to live with us every other weekend and during school breaks.”
“She suggested I build her a little cottage on the property near us and sell the house I got before I met my husband. That was her suggestion. She said she’d rather be close to the kids and didn’t trust us.” to bring them up properly when I offered to let them live with us, she also claimed that my husband promised her anything before me.
Some of my in-laws say I’m conceited and that I really don’t need such a big home. It upsets me that my husband has not voiced his opinions either way. She’s not well and I want to stand up for myself, but I’m starting to feel bad about it.”
But I decided not to back down. In our conversation, I made it clear to my husband that I had no intention of selling my house. I clarified that my home is an investment in my child’s future. He agreed, saying that although he felt terrible considering the idea, his ex was pushing him because of her health problem.
He contacted her and told her that she needed to stop controlling everyone and that he would no longer represent her boyfriend. She broke down in tears and said she had to go to the emergency room because she was sick. After hanging up, she blocked the two of us. I outlined the parameters in the email I sent her. I’m pissed right now.”
The author received great public support.
Your husband needs to get custody of the children if he is not well enough to do so. All other indications are that she is either a manipulative liar or a vile person who would rather neglect the children than let him “win”. I assume the real reason is that she doesn’t want to lose the money your husband is currently giving her in child support and for her to start paying him child support.
Your husband is the problem. My jaw drops to think you should sell your property and use the proceeds to build a new one for her. As? Why would you act in such a way?
Your in-laws should stop squatting on your property. They can build a house for her on their property if they want. If not, they can keep their dirty hands off your wallet. You’ll have to decide if it’s worth staying with your husband despite the disrespect and frustration if he doesn’t stop this stupidity.
I understand that a husband doesn’t want to leave his ex, but if he is anything like me, he needs to accept that she is responsible for dealing with the consequences of her behavior and actions.
It’s time to let her get her life back on track and move on, even if stopping his support will only make her worse, possibly putting her in financial jeopardy and making things less pleasant for everyone. When others stop providing them, most people eventually get better.Â
This is really strange. Your husband must fully support you. He needs to end it now. Him, not you. If not, he’s aware of it and you should see it as an issue that pits you against everyone else.
Not wanting to help your husband’s ex is okay. Anyone in your family who accuses you of being selfish should take responsibility for it.
Ex has a voice like a mother-in-law.
His obligations to her were canceled by the divorce.
He made promises to you and he doesn’t respect you. Don’t sell your house. Make sure your finances are separated or you could find yourself taking care of her.
Tell those who accuse you of self-centeredness to take responsibility. Although you are not responsible for her, it seems that the husband’s affection for her was not hurt by the divorce.
When her 18-year-old stepdaughter became pregnant, another woman found herself in a difficult situation because she did not want to be the parent of the child.
She rather thought that her mother would take care of her upbringing. Worse, the woman’s husband supported this choice.
While navigating complex relationships with ex-partners, especially when it comes to children, the woman in this story faces a challenging dynamic with her husband’s ex-wife. The situation escalates because the ex-wife not only makes disparaging remarks but also seeks financial support and control over living conditions. This creates considerable tension and discomfort in the woman’s household, compounded by her husband’s initial reluctance to enforce boundaries.
The woman’s steadfast refusal to sell her house and comply with her husband’s ex-wife’s demands underscores her commitment to protecting her own financial security and boundaries. Despite pressure from his in-laws and emotional manipulation from his ex-wife, he stands his ground. This demonstrates a clear commitment to prioritizing your child’s future and maintaining autonomy over your assets.
The public response, which is largely supportive of the woman’s position, reflects the general view that boundaries should be respected and that financial commitments should not exceed reasonable limits, especially when driven by emotional manipulation. This situation underscores the importance of clear communication and mutual respect in blended family dynamics, as well as the need for spouses to adapt to decisions that affect the stability and well-being of their household.
Ultimately, a woman’s decision to assert herself and set boundaries sends a powerful message about self-respect and the importance of honoring marital commitments while protecting personal interests. It serves as a reminder that navigating relationships with former partners requires sensitivity, mutual understanding, and a willingness to prioritize the needs and values ​​of the current family unit.