Navigating relationships with in-laws can be a daunting challenge, especially when tensions arise between a daughter-in-law and her mother-in-law. These complexities are often intensified when cultural differences come into play. In the case of a 21-year-old woman expecting twins, her fight with her mother-in-law became an escalating problem.
From the very beginning, their relationship was strained due to their different cultural backgrounds. A woman of Western origin faced difficulties in assimilating into her mother-in-law’s world, leading to a series of clashes and moments of emotional suffering. Her attempts to please her mother-in-law, evident in her efforts to prepare a traditional dish from her mother-in-law’s homeland, were met with disappointment and disregard.
The woman revealed that her relationship with her mother-in-law was not always harmonious. Six months after her father-in-law’s death, the OP’s father-in-law moved in with her and her husband, making the situation even worse.
An uneasy bond with her mother-in-law
Due to their different cultural backgrounds, the woman had a strained relationship with her mother-in-law from the beginning. Her husband’s mother was from a different continent than the OP who was from the West. She tried so hard to please her father-in-law, but she felt like she was being watched all the time. To be honest, their strained relationship has the OP in tears.
OP’s mother-in-law often asked her to do chores; she once asked her daughter-in-law to prepare food from her native country without help or guidance.
The OP did her homework on the dish and tried to prepare it correctly in an attempt to win over her husband’s mother. But no matter how hard she tried, the food was ignored. Commenter stated:
“[She took] one bite and [told] me it was terrible and [threw] the whole plate out.”
she begs her mother-in-law to be understanding
After many instances of disrespect and pain, the woman repeatedly begged her mother-in-law to treat her better, but in vain. Brother-in-law would inform OP’s husband that his wife was acting disrespectfully whenever it happened.
She was not able to handle all the housework, cooking, and errands because she was pregnant. The mother-in-law would constantly berate the OP for doing things wrong, even though she was following her orders for chores.
The female stated:
“She doesn’t understand how her son could marry someone who doesn’t even know how to be a wife.
Adopting empathy for yourself
The woman finally reached her breaking point with his mother-in-law’s antics. She refused to be dictated to and stood her ground and told the older woman. She refused to do anything for her father-in-law until they showed her kindness.
Whether the mother-in-law agreed or not, the OP also emphasized that she is the mother of her born and unborn grandchildren as well as the wife of her son.
Unfortunately, her remarks were not well received.
When the OP’s mother-in-law became enraged, she began to belittle her and call the expectant mother disrespectful to her elders. The mother-in-law added that she was “disgusted” that her son had married such a person.
He chose to support his mother over his wife
Even after everything that happened, the OP’s husband continued to support his mother. After she called him to vent about what his wife had done, he empathized with her story.
In a conversation with his wife, he begged her to show more compassion to his mother in her time of grief. Furthermore, he felt that she didn’t put much effort into maintaining their bond as mother and daughter-in-law.
“I brought this up to my husband enough times and all he did was downplay his mother’s actions,” the woman said. Now she wonders if she made a mistake in admonishing her husband’s mother.
The woman decided to present evidence to her husband after witnessing him supporting her mother. OP decided to show her husband her mother-in-law acting like the cruel person she is on camera. Finally, he took the initiative and gave his mother the ground rules. However, he did not think it was right to throw her out of the house.
Do you think the woman was wrong to demand her rights? How would you react in her place?
The situation between a woman and her mother-in-law is undoubtedly difficult. It is evident that she tried her best to manage a difficult relationship and endure mistreatment and disrespect. After seeking advice and trying to fix the situation several times, she found herself at a breaking point where it was necessary to assert her boundaries.
Confronting your mother-in-law is no easy task, especially with cultural differences adding to the complexity. The woman wanted understanding and basic respect, yet her attempts were met with further ridicule and criticism.
Her decision to stand up for herself was born out of frustration and a desire for fair treatment. However, the husband’s continuous support of his mother made the situation even more complicated, making him question her approach.
Recording her mother-in-law’s behavior might have been an extreme step, but it seemed the only way to communicate the seriousness of the situation to her husband. Whether or not this was the best method remains subjective.
In such situations, seeking outside guidance, such as therapy or counseling, can offer a neutral space to navigate these complex family dynamics. Finding a solution ultimately requires mutual respect, understanding, and compromise from all parties involved.
The woman’s actions, it is a reminder of the challenges that come with navigating family relationships, especially when she encounters resistance and a lack of understanding. This incident highlights the need for open communication, empathy, and mutual respect in families to foster healthier relationships.
First off I would not have my mother-in-law dictating to me in my own house. She is the interloper in your home, and I would have made it clear from the beginning that it was my house, my rules, I certainly would not have been waiting on her hand and foot, pregnant or not, she is capable of cooking her own cuisine, herself, she lost her husband, not her arms. This is made even more difficult by a spineless husband, who has obviously been dominated by this woman (his mother) and still is. He would be given the ultimatum of backing his wife or loosing her, because this situation can not continue, the resentment. hurt feelings and conflict will not end well for any of them.