Even worse, my daughter called our wedding gift for her and my son a “shack”.
She claimed she was hoping for a more expensive gift. Little Dia understood that our gift was more than what she initially believed.
I never imagined that I would have a bitter relationship with my ungrateful daughter. But lately, Lucy, our oldest, has made heads impossible to ignore.
Brief history: Originally a stay-at-home mom, I am now a full-time homemaker who is very active in our neighborhood. My husband’s extraordinarily prosperous career afforded me this luxury. I have been married to my husband for over thirty years. Our three gorgeous girls are here. Lucy, our oldest, tied the knot last week.
Brian, Lucy’s college sweetheart, was married.
They had been dating since they first met during their senior year of college. Unfortunately, since Lucy left for university, our family hasn’t spent as much time with her. We would barely talk more than once a week.
Lucy and I don’t seem to have similar interests. She is a driven professional woman. She seemed to have no choice but to become a housewife. On the other hand, it was my joy and full-time job. Still, I encouraged her to pursue her goals and always be kind to her future husband. I was convinced that they would treat each other with respect and care.
As all weddings should be, theirs was a beautiful day full of happiness and joy. Most of the wedding expenses were covered by our family, but we still gave them a wedding gift. My husband and I decided to offer Brian and Lucy the key to our cottage as a truly meaningful gift. For us, this farm had immense sentimental value, full of family memories. We will spend years with our family.
Lucy called us the day after the wedding. I was completely taken aback by the tone in which she first spoke to us. She says:
“I appreciate the gift, but to be honest, I was hoping for something nicer than this cabin. We’ll most likely pay you back.”
Even though I couldn’t speak, I managed to reply, “No problem, dear.” Before ending the call, Lucy subtly hinted at how cheap our gift was without showing any sign of appreciation. I was shocked to hear such remarks from someone I raised. I had to take a moment to process what she said and determine the best course of action.
Yesterday we had all our daughters and their husbands at the cottage. The intention was to reveal to Lucy the true value of this “shack” she had written down so quickly. The cottage has just undergone repairs that have preserved the memories and added beauty and coziness to it. Naturally, Lucy didn’t know about it.
Lucy looked irritated when we all met at a nearby gas station and refused to go to the cottage. Everyone was amazed at the beauty and transformation of the place when they arrived, but Lucy’s response was the most telling. Her mouth dropped when she saw the renovated cottage.
The cottage has been converted into a modern holiday home with floor-to-ceiling windows. There was also an outdoor fireplace and a porch with an amazing view. As Lucy loved to cook, we knew the kitchen would be equipped with top-of-the-line appliances and a TV.
The space was not enormous, but it was big enough to build a nice family home. Lucy’s eyes glistened as she looked around.
Amazed, she said, “How did you do that?
When? I am truly grateful for your gift. I calmly smiled in response:
“Honey, did you forget? You gave it back to us right away.”
A deep purple hue appeared on her face as understanding set in. She was so embarrassed by her previous lack of gratitude that she started shouting and cursing.
Things quickly spiraled out of control and everyone was shocked by her reaction, especially Brian. He was stunned by his wife’s terrible reaction, not the beautiful restoration. It was the last thing Brian expected his new bride to act like this in front of her own family.
Lucy most likely gained some insight into humility and gratitude that day.
But Lucy isn’t the only one who has had to learn a hard lesson recently. Wendy, a mother of two and a wife, also blamed her husband for calling her slow.Â
My husband always told others that I was lazy, so I decided to teach him a proper lesson.
Sometimes we marry someone without realizing how much they change over time. I found this lesson the hardest. I’m Wendy and I’m a mother of two wonderful and priceless children. In addition to being a parent, I work remotely from home full-time.
My earnings help my husband Donny and I keep our home financially stable. My husband was the most charming man when we were still dating. But he’s changed since we got married.
For example, we recently had a new problem. She keeps telling me how messy the house is when she gets home from work. Hell bemoans the state of the table or the fact that there are only TWO plates left in the sink.
It really irritates me when Donny asks me why I don’t clean every day when I’m ALWAYS home! “If I stayed at home like you, I would LIGHT it all up every day!” he called out to me once.
My husband and I went shopping last week and it turned out to be more than just an errand – it was a turning point in our relationship.
We were standing in line when the last straw came. After leaving one store we had to drive through a large parking lot to get to the next.
The things we wanted – four large, bulky boxes with an outdoor table and chairs – were ready at the pick-up point. But we had the car parked across the street. My biggest mistake was recommending that we drive to the store exit rather than carry the boxes across the parking lot. Donny showed no hesitation!
The man started shouting, “God, one more time! Why are you being so lazy? Why can’t you move those boxes 50 meters to the car?” His voice grew louder with each syllable. He yelled, “I didn’t realize I married someone so lazy,” clearly audible to the others.
I felt anger and humiliation but kept my mouth shut. I couldn’t take anymore, so I left the store without the furniture. He had to figure out how to move the furniture without my assistance.
Rather months before I decided to exact my revenge without his knowledge. I made plans and left him a message the next day before I left. A few hours later, when he called me, he was sobbing and said:
“Please, baby! Please, please, don’t do this to me. They’re driving me crazy!”
His voice sounded tired and desperate. Knowing that I had to take a week off from him because of his constant criticism of my supposed laziness, I made hidden plans. It happened right at the top of a business trip.
I didn’t talk to Donny about the reservation at all. Before leaving, I made sure everything was ready to continue around the house without me. I left him a note that said, “He’s gone on a business trip for a week,” with no further explanation.
“The dinner essentials are in the freezer and the kids have a schedule posted on the fridge. Good luck!”
I intended for him to go through my daily activities and oversee everything I usually do. I wanted him to know how offensive the term “lazy” was to me. He had to juggle morning preparations during the week.
In addition, he handled nighttime routines, cooking, cleaning, and school drop-offs. My husband was finally witnessing firsthand all the endless cycles of tasks and expectations I dealt with every day in addition to my work.
He took calls almost every day! His voice gradually changed from exasperated to desperate. One day he admitted, “I’m really tired. How you manage it all is beyond me.” The man who called me “lazy” was now asking for help with everything.
I gently gave him advice and support, showing him the pros and cons of running a busy family. His perspective on our communication changed when he finally experienced what it was like to be in MY place.
The difference was evident when I returned! The relief on his face was what really spoke volumes, even though the house was in remarkably good condition! The children laughed at their father’s obvious exhaustion as he rushed to welcome me with them.
He humbly said, “I had no idea,” and then hugged me tightly. “I’m sorry if I ever called you slow. This week has been an eye-opener for me. How do you handle it all?”
After that day, Donny NEVER cursed at the vacuumed floor or the occasional dirty dish. Rather, he developed into the person I fell in love with. He helped more with the housework and showed genuine gratitude for all the hidden work I put into keeping our house in order.
His transformation was significant and strengthened our bond. It was characterized by mutual respect and genuine cooperation in fulfilling our responsibilities in the home and raising children. Our marriage was revitalized by the whole experience, which not only brought us closer but also deeply ingrained a sense of empathy and teamwork.
Wendy isn’t the only one who has had to use extreme means to teach a loved one some much-needed life lessons. After her late husband’s brother’s wife says something harsh that makes her mother cry, little Dora finds herself having to defend her mother on her own.
In both Lucy’s and Wendy’s stories, we see poignant lessons about gratitude, humility, and mutual respect. Lucy’s reaction to her parents’ generous wedding gift—initially dismissing it as insignificant—revealed her lack of appreciation for the sentimental value and effort involved. The subsequent realization of the true value of the gift served as a powerful lesson in humility, emphasizing the importance of understanding and appreciating the intentions of gestures, regardless of their material value.
Similarly, Wendy’s experience with her husband Donny highlighted the challenges of balancing domestic responsibilities and the often unseen work involved in maintaining the family home. By deliberately taking a step back, Wendy allowed Donny to experience firsthand the rigors of her daily routine. This shift in perspective led to a renewed appreciation and respect for her efforts, strengthening their relationship and fostering a more empathetic and collaborative partnership.
Both stories illustrate the importance of approaching relationships with empathy and appreciation. They remind us that understanding and appreciating the contributions of others—whether in the form of gifts, chores, or daily sacrifices—can deeply affect and enrich our connections with those we love.