It’s definitely interesting how holiday traditions often stir up debate, especially when they intersect with child development and values. The revival of the Elf on the Shelf debate, fueled by the views of psychologists such as Tim Kasser and Daniel Cook, reveals the deeper implications of seemingly innocent habits. It encourages reflection on the messages embedded in these traditions and their potential impact on children’s perceptions of behavior, rewards, and the true nature of festive celebrations. As families consider incorporating the Elf on the Shelf, there comes a time when they think about the values ​​they want to foster in their homes, whether through traditional celebrations or alternative ways of passing on kindness and generosity.
Knox College psychology professor Tim Kasser was linked in 2014 to allegations that the widely accepted holiday custom of “harming” children with their elf is harmful. People are re-reading these articles and wondering if they should incorporate Elf on the Shelf into their family’s Christmas rituals. Kasser has this to say about it.
The Elf on the Shelf Controversy
The idea behind Elf on the Shelf is that parents hide a toy elf called a Frisbee around the house from Thanksgiving until Christmas Day. Santa’s personal elf is supposed to keep an eye on the kids to make sure they’re well-behaved. On Christmas Day, if they are deemed “good enough,” Santa will give them presents. The idea, of course, is that parents will have extra “help” to manage their children’s behavior during the holidays.
Kasser argues that Elf on the Shelf reinforces the myth that material possessions and gifts are the only ways to reward good behavior. They argue that this makes children feel insecure and materialistic. They argue that this message can be harmful to children’s long-term well-being, as research shows that putting materialistic goals first leads to a lower quality of life.
“There’s a very clear message with something like [Elf on the Shelf] and the whole ‘naughty or nice’ concept of Santa Claus, which is: If you’re good, you get things,” Kasser said.
Kasser has done a lot of research on the connections between materialism and our physical and mental well-being. It should come as no surprise that our level of happiness declines as our dependence on material possessions increases. Unfortunately, from an early age, society seems to impart the opposite knowledge. The saying “more stuff means better life” is truer than ever during the holidays. We have to learn how to deal with these messages as parents.
“My colleagues at the University of Suss*x and I recently published a meta-analysis that showed that the negative relationship between materialism and well-being is consistent across all types of materialism, types of people, and cultures,” Kasser said. “We found that the more people endorsed materialistic values, the more they experienced unpleasant emotions, depression, and anxiety, the more they reported physical health problems such as stomach aches and headaches, and the less they experienced pleasant emotions and felt satisfied with their lives. “
Agreeing with other psychologists
Daniel Cook, professor of sociology and child studies at Rutgers University-Camden, endorsed Kasser. In addition, he thinks that the elf on the shelf draws the wrong attention to himself in both parents and children. According to him, children should learn to respect their parents’ authority as part of decent behavior. Parents should also instill in their children the idea that being “good”, i.e. charitable, polite, respectful, etc., is something you should just be. He says it’s not just that he’s acting this way in hopes of getting something in return.
“It allows parents to transfer their authority to this secondary fantasy being, this elf that is related to Santa,” Cook said. “In a way, kids and parents alike become addicted to this elf on the shelf.”
However, there are Elf on the Shelf apps that avoid the emphasis on gift-giving. Parents can use the elf to encourage generosity and giving instead of using it as a disciplinary tool. For example, an elf could be used to inspire children to get involved in charitable efforts and show them that the real meaning of Christmas is giving rather than receiving.
These may include choosing some of their toys to donate to children less fortunate than themselves, saving their own money to buy a gift for someone else, or volunteering at a food bank or toy drive. The goal is to instill in children the idea that doing good deeds, helping others, and being involved in your community have their own benefits that don’t involve material possessions.
Your children, your decision
Ultimately, it should be up to the parents to decide whether or not to follow the Elf on the Shelf tradition. According to some experts, traditions can be used as a tool to encourage and promote altruism, while others argue that they can be harmful to children’s moral development. As with anything related to parenting, parents should make decisions based on careful consideration of the values ​​they want to instill in their children.
The Elf on the Shelf, once a popular holiday tradition, finds itself in the middle of controversy due to claims by psychologists such as Tim Kasser and Daniel Cook. Their interests center on the potential reinforcement of materialistic values ​​and a shift from intrinsic good to extrinsic rewards. As families rethink their holiday traditions, the debate continues: Is Elf on the Shelf a playful tradition or a subtle influencer of materialistic attitudes?
The discussions sparked by these experts highlight the importance of thoughtful parenting and thoughtful consideration of the values ​​imparted during the holiday season. While some argue that Elf on the Shelf can be recast as a tool to promote generosity and community spirit, others warn of its potential influence on materialism. Ultimately, the decision to include the Elf on the Shelf in family traditions rests with the parents, who hold the key to instilling values ​​that align with their beliefs and aspirations for the character development of their children. As the holiday season approaches each year, these conversations serve as a reminder to families to prioritize the deeper essence of giving, kindness, and community, regardless of the presence of a mischievous elf.