Navigating the Complex Emotions of Mother’s Day: Talking to Grown Sons
Mother’s Day is a special occasion when children have the opportunity to express their love and appreciation to their mothers.
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QUESTION:
“I’m a mom of two grown sons and for Mother’s Day I got an I’m sorry I didn’t get you anything because I spent all my money on my girl’s mom but I’m here to do laundry.” .” I was devastated. Is there anything I should say to him? I let him know how devastated I was. I never expect anything from my kids. He spent almost $100 and I would have been happy with a handwritten letter or a dollar store card. This mother is in pain. My second child had to work all day, which I also regretted, but it was inevitable.”
BEST ANSWERS (chosen by moderator):
The moderator selected the following best answers from hundreds of comments on the original question.
“You should be honest about your feelings like you did here. Communication and understanding are also important aspects of love.”
“I could say something, especially since he admitted to spending money on the mother of his girls. You are his safe haven and he may not realize he is hurting you unless you speak up. At least my grown son does. All the best! “Stay strong.”
“Just say you can always come up with something. I’d like to invite you to dinner.”
“That’s pretty ignorant, but he was right. Without reminders, people forget everything. I don’t expect anything, but if I really want something, I can ask for it.”
“It’s not that big of a deal. I wouldn’t put that much stock in it.”
“If it’s a big deal to you, tell him in a non-accusatory way, but mention it.
“Yes. Let him know you’re in pain. I couldn’t imagine not buying my mother anything for Mother’s Day.”
“Girl, my kids aren’t even grown yet and this year my stepdaughter hasn’t even called or texted me and my own two boys haven’t even given me a little handwritten letter or a dollar store/homemade card.”, but I also know that they appreciate me and show me days other than Mother’s Day.”
“Yes I did and it woke my son up to see how selfish he was so he did a complete 180!”
“People put too much emphasis on the holidays.” Your child is still alive and has something in common with you that many parents don’t. Thank God for what you have.”
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As you navigate the complex emotions surrounding Mother’s Day, try to find gratitude in the everyday moments of motherhood. Celebrate the times when your children seek your advice, share their joys and sorrows, and simply spend time with you. These are rare moments that illustrate the depth of the bond between a mother and her children.
In conclusion, Mother’s Day can evoke a range of emotions in both mothers and their adult children. As a mother of grown sons, it is natural to desire recognition and appreciation on this special day. However, it is equally important to remember that love can be expressed in many ways and is not limited to a single occasion. Engaging in honest communication with your son, approaching the conversation with empathy, and finding gratitude in everyday moments can help strengthen the bond between you. Motherhood is a journey full of love, sacrifice, and growth, and the love between a mother and her children transcends every day of celebration.