Imagine being told that before you change your baby’s diaper, you need to ask for their permission.
It sounds like satire—but it’s a real suggestion that’s gone viral, sparking fierce debate online. Is this a glimpse of a bold new approach to parenting, or has the concept of consent taken a bewildering and controversial leap?
Deanne Carson, an Australian s*xuality educator, has set the internet abuzz after proposing that parents should seek their infant’s consent before performing diaper changes. Her reasoning? To nurture a “culture of consent” starting from the very beginning of a child’s life.
Her suggestion has been met with a wave of reactions—ranging from bewilderment and mockery to cautious curiosity. Some critics have sarcastically questioned if the same principle should apply to asking pets for permission before cleaning their messes.
After all, infants can’t speak, and the practicality of asking a baby’s permission before tending to their hygiene seems, to many, outlandish.
Carson clarifies that she doesn’t expect literal answers. Rather, she encourages parents to speak openly during caregiving moments—saying things like, “I’m going to change your diaper now, is that okay?”—then watching carefully for their baby’s body language and facial expressions as signs of comfort or discomfort.
In a recent interview with ABC Australia, she acknowledged babies won’t verbally reply “Yes,” but believes pausing to observe non-verbal cues like eye contact or relaxed posture signals respect for the child’s bodily autonomy.
This method aligns with pediatric guidance urging parents to tune into their infant’s non-verbal communication—coos, gestures, and movements—as vital early language.
By embedding consent into everyday routines such as diaper changes, Carson aims to foster a sense of bodily awareness and respect in children, even if it happens at a subconscious level.
Opponents, however, dismiss this as unrealistic or even harmful. Rowan Dean, editor of The Spectator Australia, condemned it as “left-wing nonsense,” while parenting expert John Rosemond branded Carson’s idea “bizarre” and “insane.” In a Reno Gazette Journal column, Rosemond warned that such thinking could sow confusion and dysfunction within families.
Social media responses have ranged from ridicule to outright disbelief. “A crying baby with a dirty diaper is already demanding a change,” one commenter pointed out. Others questioned Carson’s experience with children, jokingly asking if she waits for a cat’s permission before cleaning its litter box.
Concerns have also surfaced about the consequences of delaying diaper changes, with critics warning that leaving a baby in soiled diapers could be considered neglectful, questioning whether Carson’s approach could inadvertently harm children.
Yet, Carson’s supporters emphasize that her core message—promoting respect, communication, and boundaries from infancy—is valuable. “Babies understand much more than we give them credit for,” one defender said. “Talking to them respectfully can only help build trust.”
Another added, “Her point was about starting conversations on consent early, not expecting babies to say yes. The delivery may have been extreme, but the underlying idea has merit.”
Ultimately, whether parents choose to “ask” their babies before diaper changes boils down to personal philosophy. Some see it as a way to build emotional connection and trust; others believe sensitivity and attentiveness suffice.
What’s your take? Should parents seek their babies’ permission before changing diapers? Join the conversation and share your perspective.
In summary, Deanne Carson’s call to involve babies in consent around diaper changes has ignited passionate debate, highlighting how parenting styles and cultural values continue to evolve. Critics worry about feasibility and safety, while supporters underscore the importance of respect and early communication.
Though infants cannot verbalize consent, advocates suggest narrating caregiving actions and reading non-verbal cues can foster early understanding of bodily autonomy.
Whether embraced or dismissed, this conversation challenges us all to rethink how we engage with children and the lessons we teach from their very first days.