Would you ask your baby for permission before changing their diaper?
It might sound like a parody of modern parenting—but for one Australian educator, it’s a serious starting point in building a culture of consent. The idea has gone viral, sparking fierce online debate and raising eyebrows around the world.
Is this the future of respectful parenting—or an overreach that leaves common sense behind?
Deanne Carson, a self-described s*xuality and consent educator based in Australia, recently stirred global discussion by suggesting that parents should verbally ask their infants for permission before proceeding with a diaper change.
Her philosophy? That even the earliest interactions can lay the groundwork for teaching bodily autonomy and respect.
The concept drew immediate and explosive reactions across social platforms. Many found it confusing, even absurd. Critics joked about extending consent conversations to pets or dolls. “Should I wait for my newborn to sign off on a bottle too?” one user quipped.
But Carson insists the intent is less about literal approval and more about cultivating mindful, respectful interactions. She recommends parents speak to their babies during routines—saying things like, “I’m going to change your diaper now, okay?”—and then pause briefly to observe the infant’s reactions, such as eye contact, calmness, or distress.
In a segment on ABC News Australia, Carson acknowledged that infants can’t say “yes” or “no,” but emphasized that babies communicate in other ways—and that treating those cues as meaningful helps establish trust and mutual respect. Her broader goal is to normalize the idea that consent isn’t only verbal and isn’t something to be taught later in life—it begins with how adults engage children from day one.
Supporters of the concept see it as part of a larger cultural shift. Advocates argue that using everyday care moments to reinforce respect for boundaries can contribute to emotional intelligence and long-term awareness of consent.
“Even if babies don’t understand the words, the tone and attention matter,” said one parent in defense of Carson’s approach.
Still, the backlash has been significant. Critics argue the suggestion is impractical at best, and dangerous at worst. Parenting columnist John Rosemond wrote that Carson’s idea “defies both biology and logic,” claiming it could lead to confusion in both parents and children. Others have gone so far as to call the approach harmful, citing concerns over delayed care and misinterpretation of a child’s needs.
“A dirty diaper is a health concern, not a debate,” said one commenter. “You don’t need consent to do what’s clearly in the best interest of your child.”
Beyond the meme-worthy reactions, however, the controversy reveals a deeper cultural divide. On one side are those advocating for a more conscious, emotionally intelligent style of parenting. On the other are those who worry that over-intellectualizing basic caregiving could lead to guilt, confusion, or even neglect.
At its core, this debate is less about diapers and more about how we define respect, boundaries, and agency in the earliest stages of life.
Final Thoughts:
Deanne Carson’s diaper consent proposal may sound unconventional, but it has undeniably ignited an important conversation about how we treat children, how we teach respect, and how modern parenting continues to evolve. While critics argue the method is impractical or even laughable, supporters believe it promotes empathy and early body autonomy. Whether you see it as progressive or perplexing, one thing is clear: parenting norms are shifting, and today’s conversations will shape how the next generation views trust, consent, and respect.