Albert Einstein’s famous quote, “I’m not sure about the universe, but two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity,” is a witty observation that resonates with many of us, regardless of whether it can be directly attributed to a renowned physicist. Human frailties and illogical behavior often leave us shaking our heads in disbelief, and the anecdotes below are perfect examples of this. We hope these stories bring a hearty dose of laughter into your day.
1: McDonald’s Math Accident:
I paid the clerk a $5 bill as my husband and I walked through the McDonald’s drive-thru window.
Since we had a total of $4.25, I also gave her 25 cents.
It said, ‘You gave me too much money!’ Yes, I understand, but this way, just give me a refund!
Sighing, she approached the manager who asked me to repeat what I had asked.
After I did, he gave me back the 25 cents and apologized saying, “We don’t do that kind of thing.”
The cashier then refunded me 75 cents.
Don’t be confused for the people at McDonald’s.
2: The garage door needed to be repaired.
The repairman informed us that one of the problems we were having was that the opener motor was not “big” enough.
After thinking about it, I stated that we had the largest one made at that time – 1/2 horsepower.
He shook his head and stated, “You need 1/4 horsepower.”
“NO, it’s not,” he replied to my statement that 1/2 was greater than 1/4. Two is not as big as four.
We haven’t used that repairman since.
3. My neighborhood is semi-rural.
The DEER CROSSING sign on our road needs to be taken down, according to a recent request from a new neighbor who called the local council office.
Cause: There are too many deer hit by cars in this area! I don’t think it’s appropriate for them to pass through at this time.
4. Lettuce Logic:
My daughter ordered a taco at a Mexican fast-food restaurant.
“At least a salad, please,” she asked the person behind the table.
They only had iceberg lettuce, he apologized.
5. Inquiries to the airport:
“Did someone put something in your luggage without your knowledge?” when I checked in at the gate.
“If it was without my knowledge, how would I know,” I retorted.
“That’s why we ask,” he acknowledged with a knowing smile.
6. Partitions:
When it’s okay to cross the street, the pedestrian signal on the corner beeps.
I was crossing the street with one of my “intellectually disabled” co-workers.
I was asked what the purpose of her beeping was.
I clarified that when the light turns red, it alerts those who are blind.
“What on earth do blind people drive?” she exclaimed in horror.
He works for the government.
7: Locked and Unlocked:
After having their car serviced at an authorized garage, the couple was informed that the keys had been left inside their vehicle. When they arrived at the service department, the mechanic was frantically trying to unlock the driver’s side door. Out of mere reflex, the person in the passenger seat tried the door handle and found it unlocked. “Hey, the door’s open!” they exclaimed. A technician’s answer? “I know, I already did that side. Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best.
These anecdotes remind us that no matter how advanced we are as a society, moments of human folly and absurdity are an integral part of our experience. The universe may be a complex and mysterious place, but our capacity for confusing and entertaining behavior is truly endless. We can’t help but laugh at these stories, which serve as light-hearted reminders that in our infinite diversity, we are united by our shared humanity. So, whether you’re going to a fast food joint, an airport gate, or a garage repair shop, keep your sense of humor handy – you never know when you might encounter a moment of endless human absurdity…