Weddings are usually joyous events, but sometimes they can reveal underlying tensions in families. A stepfather recently took to social media to share a difficult experience he had at his stepdaughter’s wedding, and the online community is divided on who is right. It’s up to you to form your own opinion after reading his narrative.
Families experience tension at weddings and on occasion, arguments of many kinds can occur. People on the internet are divided on who is right after their stepfather recently took to social media to reveal an incident that happened during his stepdaughter’s wedding.
After reading what he said, determine who you think is right.
On August 3rd, my stepdaughter will tie the knot. She and her mother (I say her mother because we are not married, although they have been together for ten years) have spent most of the last six months preparing for the wedding.
My stepdaughter graduated from college last December. Even though it was a public school, I paid for her to go and the price was still $40,000. He has lived with us since graduating from university and is currently unemployed. When she graduated high school, I also got her a car so she could drive herself to and from school.
Her absentee father occasionally reappeared in her life and she swooned over him. She still loves him and wants him in her life even though he didn’t give her anything in schooling or child support even though it’s my girlfriend’s fault because c.s. was not covered by the settlement. He stays long enough to leave town and break the promise he made to her and break her heart.
The maximum capacity of the wedding venue is 250. Since I was paying for everything, I gave them a list of 20 guests that I wanted to invite. They assured me that it was no problem and that they would take care of it. I informed them that they would receive an invitation and that they should save the date. I asked a friend who was on this list that I ran into on the golf course on Saturday if he was coming. He informed me that he was not invited. He informed me that he had just received a notification – not an invitation. He presented it to me from his back seat, where it was also probably six months’ worth of mail. My name was nowhere to be found and it was just a notification. Not my name but her father’s and her mother’s.
The fact that NONE of my list of twenty “made it” to the final guest list because “250 people is very tight” caused me to get into quite a fight with my girlfriend. I was furious, but there wasn’t much I could do because important people in my life were already hurt. My girlfriend added, “If some people didn’t say yes, maybe I could get a few people in.” But from my point of view, this is the biggest blow in the face. So I had a hot Saturday.
Yesterday we had Sunday dinner with the future in-law’s family as well as us and a special visitor, “Real Dad”. My step-daughter announced that her “real dad” would be able to attend her wedding and therefore be able to give her away over this little dinner party. A chorus of “Oh, how great” and “How wonderful” responses followed.
I don’t believe I have ever felt so outraged and so abused. I was shaking. It took me a while to recover because, frankly, I wasn’t sure if I was going to cry, start hitting people, or both. When I knew I would be able to speak, I stood up and said, “I’d like a drink.” Although I don’t remember everything I said, the general idea was this:
“Let’s toast,” you say. I can still hear the sound of spoons scraping against glasses. At this point in my life, I feel I owe a debt to the bride and groom for opening my eyes to something very fundamental. “It has been a great pleasure to be a part of this family for the past ten years.” Oh, how nice. Smiles of assurance were shared. My place in this family is not what I once believed it to be, as I have been shown. Faces in the room are now beginning to show signs of uncertainty and distrust. “While I originally imagined myself as the family patriarch or godfather, deserving of great respect and asking for help when needed, I now seem to occupy the position of an ATM, useful for a steady supply of cash but not much more.” I’ve been replaced as the host, both for the ceremony and the invitations, so I’m handing over my financial responsibilities to the real dad. So congratulations to the happy couple on their decision and their journey. My drink was gone. “You can all get out.”
Is it an end in itself? I’m expected to pay $40,000 to $50,000 for a wedding that I’m not allowed to invite anyone to. that I do not participate. I’m so sick of this nonsense. I had it with both my girlfriend and my stepdaughter. I moved money from our joint account last night. This morning I called all the businesses I gave deposit checks to get my money back (she has not had a job since she moved in with me). For the venue, it looks like I’ll be out about 1500 but the other suppliers have been wonderful about refunds.
If you want your “REAL DAD” to pay for everything and put your name on the invitation, send you off, and sit at the head table, that’s fine.
June 9, 1:15 a.m. The girlfriend and fiancee have since moved on. They will live with the groom. With some of the “things” they brought along, it was extremely hard to resist pettiness, but now that that was over I changed the locks and it was time for a beer. I am surprised at the interest my article has received, but I am glad to have their support. I won’t promise to try to find out what happens to the wedding, but if I do, I’ll let you know.
From what I hear they are trying to “tone things down” and ask his parents for help. The day after the incident the GF damaged our relationship when I found out she tried to write a check on our joint account. I think I’m a bigger ass than her at that point because I’ve already transferred the money, but I could feel it coming. Just that. Thanks.”
After this incident, he revealed to his stepfather that his girlfriend and stepdaughter had moved out and moved in with the groom. He acknowledged that it was difficult not to act out of pettiness, but expressed a sense of relief. The stepfather mentioned that he appreciates the outpouring of support he’s received online and hinted that he might not be actively looking for news about the wedding. He shared that his girlfriend had burned bridges by trying to write a check from their joint account, confirming his decision to separate their finances.
It is important to note that this description only provides one view of the situation and there may be more to the story than what is presented. Each person involved probably has their own say.