At first, Eric seemed like a rare kind of man these days—polite, attentive, genuinely interested.
The kind you want to believe still exist. But as the evening unfolded, small moments started to unsettle me, like a whisper of something just slightly off. Maybe it was the intensity of his attention or the way he insisted on paying for everything, even when I barely let him.
I told myself it was just old-fashioned charm. I couldn’t have been more wrong. The charming mask would soon crack, revealing a side of him I never saw coming—starting with a message that arrived the morning after our date.
Eric had been adamant about covering the bill on our first date, and I thought, “How sweet, a true gentleman.” He arrived not just with a warm smile but with a bouquet of perfectly arranged roses and a small gift—a silver keychain with my initial engraved. Thoughtful, attentive, and well-prepared, he seemed flawless.
But the next day, my fluttering excitement turned to a sinking feeling when I opened his text.
How It Began: The Setup
My best friend Mia was the mastermind behind the match. I trusted her judgment—or at least wanted to. Mia’s enthusiasm was contagious over the phone:
“He’s really nice, Kelly! Total gentleman. You’ll like him, I promise.”
Skeptical, I asked, “Mia, you’ve never set me up before. How do you know he’s my type?”
“Because I know you better than anyone,” she insisted. “Plus, Chris—my boyfriend—says Eric’s a great guy. They’ve been friends forever.”
Chris’s seal of approval was enough for me to say yes.
After some light texting, I agreed to meet Eric at a new Italian restaurant by the river. Nothing too fancy, just right for a first date.
The First Meeting: Charm in Full Bloom
I arrived early, nerves fluttering, and spotted Eric walking toward me—smiling, confident, stylish. Then he handed me the roses.
Not a casual bouquet, but one with ribbon and a professional touch.
“You must be Kelly,” he said softly. “These are for you.”
I was caught off guard but genuinely touched.
Then came the small box, tied with a delicate blue bow. Inside, the silver keychain engraved with a “K.”
“Just a little something,” he explained. “I asked Mia what you might like.”
The evening unfolded like a scene from a movie: he opened doors, pulled out my chair, maintained eye contact, and asked thoughtful questions about my job and family. I felt seen, heard, interesting.
We laughed over shared love of true crime podcasts and odd documentaries, and he told hilarious stories about his marketing work.
When the bill came, I reached for my purse—only to have Eric firmly stop me.
“No way,” he said with a certainty that felt less polite and more like a rule. “The man always pays on the first date.”
I hesitated but agreed. Why argue after such a lovely night?
We parted with a respectful hug, and I drove home thinking, maybe, just maybe, this could be something real.
The Morning After: The Invoice Arrives
But the next morning, my phone buzzed with a message that froze me in place.
Not a “Good morning” or a sweet follow-up, but a professionally designed invoice titled:
Date Night Invoice — Amount Due: 1 Outstanding Balance
It listed “services” he expected in return:
Bouquet of Roses: 1 hug
Custom Keychain Gift: 1 coffee date (within a week)
Opening Car Door: A cute selfie together
Pulling Out Chair: Holding hands next time
Good Conversation & Listening: A compliment about his looks
Paying for Dinner: A second date, no excuses
At the bottom, in bold:
Payment is expected in full. No refunds. If not paid, balance may be sent to collections (Chris will hear about it).
My stomach churned. I couldn’t believe what I was reading.
Was this some kind of joke? Or worse — a demand?
The Fallout: Friend Reactions and a Perfect Revenge
I snapped a screenshot and sent it immediately to Mia, who was as stunned as I was.
“OH. MY. GOD. I’m showing this to Chris right now.”
Moments later, Chris called, laughing so hard he could barely speak.
“Kelly, I’ve known this guy forever and never thought he’d be this ridiculous.”
“Is it real?” I asked.
“Absolutely. Eric’s always been a little… extra. But this? This takes the cake.”
Chris, ever the prankster, decided to get creative.
“I’m making a copycat invoice,” he declared. “Same style, totally over the top, ridiculous charges.”
He sent me his masterpiece within an hour:
Service Invoice ~ Amount Due: A Lifetime of Silence
Introducing You to a Gorgeous Woman: 1 permanent block on all platforms
Convincing Her You Were a Gentleman: Deep reflection on why you’re still single
Letting You Sit at the Same Table as Her: A formal apology to every woman you’ve dated
Not Posting This All Over the Internet: A generous favor you should be thankful for
Payment due IMMEDIATELY. Failure to comply may result in public humiliation. Cheers!
I couldn’t stop laughing. Chris hit the nail on the head.
I told him to send it—and soon my phone blew up with angry texts from Eric:
“Wow, real mature.”
“I was just being honest; not everyone can afford to burn money.”
“Chris is a horrible friend.”
“You just passed up an amazing guy.”
I didn’t respond. What was the point?
Instead, I sent a thumbs-up emoji and blocked him.
Reflection: What I Learned From Eric
Mia later called, still laughing.
“I really thought he was normal. Even Chris didn’t know he was like this.”
I surprised myself with how calm I felt.
“At least we have a great story,” I said.
“Exactly! This will be a classic at every party,” she laughed.
What started as a promising night with thoughtful gestures turned into an uncomfortable lesson about boundaries and expectations. Eric’s “generosity” came with strings attached—strings that felt less like kindness and more like a bill I never agreed to.
Thanks to quick thinking from friends, humor, and standing my ground, I shut down his bizarre demands and moved on.
The experience reminded me this: True kindness isn’t transactional. It doesn’t come with an invoice.
And as for the keychain? I kept it—not as a symbol of Eric, but as a quirky souvenir from the strangest date I’ve ever had.
Conclusion
Dating can be a minefield, filled with charm, surprises, and sometimes red flags cleverly disguised as gestures. What seems like a perfect evening can quickly reveal unexpected layers, teaching us to trust our instincts and set boundaries. Eric’s strange “invoice” was a bizarre, uncomfortable boundary crossed, but it also became a story of resilience, friendship, and humor.
So if a guy insists on paying, maybe check he’s not planning to bill you later. And remember, the best souvenirs from dating might just be the stories that make you laugh long after the date is done.