A woman is expected to marry to make her happy. However, it is common knowledge that disagreements do happen, especially with the mother-in-law, which can reduce the joy of the occasion.
Along this journey, the Reddit user recently experienced a troubled relationship with her mother-in-law and turned to the online community for support and help.
She wrote:Â
“This woman is really… I just don’t know what to say.
I am still in disbelief; I didn’t even tell my close friends or relatives. I am at a loss for words. I found your site via Google and although I have read a few posts and seen some incredible advice, I never found anything that addressed my situation.
My fiance is on a business trip so I haven’t shown or talked to him yet.
It’s obvious that this woman doesn’t like me, even if she hasn’t said it. He calls me by my ex-fiancé’s name, which is much longer than mine, even though my name is only three letters long. She continued to do this until he called her when he noticed what she was doing.Â
Her reasoning? Is older. Her age is in her fifties.
She can be so subtly antagonistic and passive-aggressive that sometimes it takes me a long time to understand her.”
In terms of background, my fiance’s family is extremely wealthy, but mine is middle class. Still, my fiance smiled at me and said, “Your present will be in the mail later,” during the surprise party she threw for me. When I found out it was a prenup, I was upset!
I’ve never had a family member sign a prenuptial agreement.
A co-worker of mine who is married to a lawyer called me after I looked up some of the terms forwarded him certain pages and warned me not to sign what he called an “extremely aggressive” document. There are clauses like “I agree not to receive spousal support in the event of a divorce” and a special penalty for infidelity. The most absurd thing I have read so far is that I will have to spend time with my future in-laws and FMIL.
She contacted me a hundred times after the postal courier brought it a few hours ago, so she knows I have it. To be honest, I have no idea what to say. If my fiancé wants to sign a prenuptial agreement, I have no problem with that. I doubt it because when he asked what FMIL got me, she smiled and replied, “You’ll see.”
However, this one was described as “quiteÂ
But the lawyer described it as “extremely unfair and dehumanizing”. I understand that’s what rich people do, but it seems odd to be getting this from your FMIL. Or am I exaggerating because this is a common occurrence?
And now FMIL has sent me a message to basically say to sign everything and be done with it so we can move forward with the wedding arrangements.”
Commenters on Reddit encouraged her and offered suggestions, writing things like:
Run if you’re not happy with what you see.
If your fiance doesn’t get her along or cuts off contact with her completely, I can assure you it will only get worse. This lady is crazy.
Don’t sign anything. The mother-in-law will no longer ask you anything and will have no comments.
Send your fiance a complete prenuptial bond using your phone’s camera; it doesn’t matter if he is “traveling for work” or not. When he is back at the hotel or on a meal break, he can read the text. They must know without a doubt that:Â
1. His mother’s arrangement of the prenuptial agreement is a serious mistake.
2. He is now putting immense and ridiculous pressure on you to sign a prenuptial agreement.
Inform him that you will not reply to MIL or sign anything from her.
This is not how the rich behave. This is rude behavior. It sounds like she intends to be terrible and the prenup allows her to do that while also requiring you to remain accessible to her, based on what you mentioned. Of course, don’t sign.
You won’t overreact. He is a terrible human being. Sounds like you might need legal counsel, so talk to your fiance. Plus, it’s probably her intention to mail it while he’s out of town.
Once I texted her back, I replied, “I’ve passed this on to my attorney for review. We should only speak through attorneys for now.” Next, turn off her calls and texts.
You shouldn’t even be talking to your mother-in-law at this point. Mute her phone’s notifications. Refuse to answer her texts or take calls. Keep any voicemails or messages you get as evidence of her harassment. The way your potential husband treats his mother will reveal all the information you require.Â
You have a serious problem if he makes any kind of justification, asks you to sign it, or defends his mother in any way. If he wants a prenuptial agreement, then any discussions regarding one must be solely between you and him, as well as your respective attorneys (not his mother’s attorney). When it comes to the legal arrangements between you and your fiance, the MIL should have no say at all.
Do not sign this document! Prenuptial agreements are not something that one party simply writes and the other accepts. If you and your future spouse decide to enter into a prenuptial agreement, you should both agree to the terms of the agreement and choose separate attorneys. MIL should stay away.
“And now FMIL sent me a message, basically telling me to sign it and get it out of the way so we can start planning the wedding.
Gentlemen. This is startling on another level. I was shocked when I received two letters from MIL’s friends about my future husband, especially because I wasn’t expecting their “advice” about our relationship.
Assuming your fiancé resolves his mother’s concerns, there’s a whole other wedding note to deal with.Â
I expect you will suffer more than the cost of the wedding. Weddings are overrated. Run away, and if you want, take your two closest friends with you as witnesses. It is imperative that you and your fiance agree on certain boundaries immediately, otherwise your life will become unbearable.
After marriage, tensions between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law can increase. Another Reddit member recently experienced emotional pain due to a difficult issue with her MIL and her parents’ decisions. Check out her letter by clicking this link.Â
A Reddit user’s experience with her future mother-in-law’s unconventional and disturbing birthday present highlights significant issues in their relationship. The prenuptial agreement, which was presented in a manner described as “dehumanizing” and “extremely unfair”, has understandably left her shocked and unsure.
The terms of the prenup—such as the waiver of spousal support and penalties for infidelity—along with the added clause requiring time spent with her future in-laws raise serious concerns about control and respect in the relationship.
Redditors overwhelmingly advised against signing a prenuptial agreement, stressing that such legal agreements should be fair and mutually agreed upon by both parties, not dictated by one party or influenced by a controlling third party. They suggested that the user take her concerns directly to her fiance, who should address his mother’s overreaching and ensure that any prenup discussions take place solely between the couple and their respective legal advisors.
The situation reflects deeper issues of power dynamics and boundaries, suggesting that the wedding may be overshadowed by ongoing conflicts if not addressed. Many commenters recommended that the user prioritize her own well-being and consider alternative options such as running away or setting firm boundaries to avoid further emotional distress.
Overall, this incident underscores the importance of mutual respect and clear communication in any relationship, especially when navigating complex family dynamics. The user’s decision to address the situation with her fiance and seek legal counsel will be crucial in deciding how they proceed and whether they can resolve these issues before marriage.