I’m composing this letter to tell you that I am cutting off our friendship for all time. I have dedicated seven years of my life to being a devoted and steady accomplice, yet I don’t have anything to show for it. These beyond about fourteen days have been incredibly difficult. Today, your supervisor reached me to uncover that you left your work, which was the straw that broke the camel’s back for me. Last week, I really tried to shock you with another hairstyle, arranged your number one dinner, and even wore new silk fighters, however, you didn’t see any of it. You consumed your dinner in only two minutes and went directly to rest in the wake of watching your dramas. You as of now not express your adoration for me, and there is an absence of closeness or any association between us as a couple. Possibly you are being faithless or you never again love me; anything that the circumstance might be, I have chosen to leave.
Yours truly,
Your Previous Companion
P.S. Kindly abstain from endeavoring to find me. Your kin and I are moving together to West Virginia! I wish you a great life ahead!
Dear Ex,
Accepting your letter has genuinely been the feature of my day. It is without a doubt exact that we have been hitched for a considerable length of time, despite the fact that your conduct has been a long way from that of a decent companion. I find comfort in watching my dramas as they act as an interruption from your perpetual griping and pestering. Tragically, it appears to be that doesn’t do the trick. I saw when you had a hair style last week, yet the main idea that entered my thoughts was, “You look very female!” Following my mom’s lessons of not uttering a word in the event that one can’t talk generous, I decided to stay quiet. With respect to preparing my number one dinner, you probably confused me with MY SISTER, as I quit eating pork a long time back. As to new silk fighters you bought, I dismissed when I saw the sticker price of $49.99 still connected, covertly trusting it was a simple occurrence that my sister had acquired $50 from me before that morning. Notwithstanding all of this, I actually cherished you and accepted that we could determine our issues. Subsequently, when I scored a 10-million-dollar sweepstakes bonanza, I quit my place of employment and bought two passes to Jamaica for us. In any case, after getting back, I found that you had evaporated. I guess everything occurs on purpose. I truly wish for you to find the satisfying life you generally wanted. My legal counselor guarantees me that the substance of your letter guarantees you will not get a penny from me. Fare thee well.
Earnestly,
Your Previous Mate, Richly Affluent and Freed!
P.S. I don’t know whether I at any point referenced this, yet my sister Carla was initially brought into the world as Carl. I trust that isn’t an issue for you.