Behind the Smiles: The Hidden Burden of Roei Shalev
To those who knew Roei Shalev, he appeared to be healing — smiling in photos, sharing moments with friends, and speaking openly about survival and hope.
Yet beneath this brave exterior was a man haunted by memories no one should ever endure: the sound of gunfire ripping through the air, the screams of panic, and the heartbreaking image of the woman he loved dying in his arms.
Two years after surviving one of Israel’s deadliest terror attacks, Roei’s life ended in a tragedy that speaks volumes about the unseen scars carried by survivors of violence.
A Day That Changed Everything
On October 7, 2023, Roei attended the Nova music festival with his girlfriend, Mapal Adam, and his best friend, Hili Solomon. What was meant to be a day of celebration turned into horror when Hamas militants stormed the festival grounds. Over 1,200 people lost their lives, including more than 250 civilians — young fans, elders, and children caught in the crossfire.
In the chaos, Roei shielded Mapal with his own body, desperately trying to protect her from the bullets. Despite his heroic efforts, Mapal was fatally shot while hiding beneath a truck with him. Her final message to her sister was a chilling testament to the terror unfolding:
“Don’t tell Mom, I’m scared. There’s a massacre. Bullets are hitting me in the head.”
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Roei survived by pretending to be dead for hours until Israeli forces arrived to rescue him. But the trauma would never leave him.
The Ripple of Grief
Just two weeks later, Roei’s mother, overwhelmed by the loss of her daughter-in-law and the pain her son was enduring, took her own life. Roei faced an unrelenting tide of grief, survivor’s guilt, and psychological wounds that never fully healed.
For nearly two years, he fought to rebuild his life. But the invisible weight grew heavier every day.
A Final Cry
Days after the second anniversary of the Nova massacre, Roei Shalev, aged 30, was found dead inside a burning car north of Tel Aviv. Hours before his death, he posted a haunting message on social media:
“Please don’t be angry with me, please. No one will ever understand me, and that’s okay because you can’t understand. I just want this suffering to end. I’m alive, but inside everything is dead.”
Friends and family frantically searched for him, sensing the depth of his despair. Authorities suspect suicide, though an investigation is ongoing.
Remembering Roei
Mapal’s sister, Maayan Adam, who is a television host, shared a photo of the couple, saying:
“Roei was murdered on October 7 and died yesterday. I have no words. I hope these two kids are hugging and smiling right now, hearts pressed together again.”
The Nova Community Foundation, supporting survivors and bereaved families, described Roei as a “pillar of strength,” a beacon of hope for others even as he wrestled with his own pain.
Israeli leaders and mental health advocates have since emphasized the urgent need for better mental health resources for survivors, acknowledging that the wounds left by October 7 run deep and long.
A Lasting Legacy
The Nova festival massacre claimed over 370 lives and shattered thousands more. Roei’s death is a heartbreaking reminder that survival is only the beginning of a long journey through pain, and that the scars left behind are often invisible.
As peace talks advance and nations seek to move beyond conflict, Roei’s story calls us to remember the human cost behind the headlines — the souls forever marked by tragedy, the silent battles fought long after the violence has ended.
If you or someone you know is struggling with trauma or suicidal thoughts, please reach out for help. In the U.S., contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988.