Alan Alda, renowned for his portrayal of Captain Pierce Hawkeye in the iconic series “MAS*H,” serendipitously encountered his future wife in the midst of a cake-filled encounter. Despite its unconventional nature, the thespian insisted that this fortuitous meeting proved to be the perfect catalyst for their union, leaving them with no doubts about their profound compatibility.
Their paths converged at a social gathering hosted by a mutual acquaintance in the year 1956. At that time, Alan pursued his studies at Fordham University, while Arlene Weiss embarked on her educational journey at Hunter College. True to his nature as a master of jest, the actor delighted in spinning witticisms, emanating laughter from the far end of the table.
At the distant end of the table, Arlene found herself captivated by Alan’s wit, chuckling at every jab he playfully unleashed. Recalling the enchanting moment, Alan reminisced, “I was spellbound… I could hear her laughter resonating from across the table in response to my jests.” Amidst the same gathering, a mishap occurred—a rum cake perched atop a refrigerator had toppled to the floor.
Without hesitation, Arlene and Alan ventured forth, armed with spoons, savoring the fallen treat from its newfound location. In Alan’s words, this peculiar act served as a litmus test, revealing, “When two individuals partake in cake consumed from the floor, it solidifies their bond.”
Departing from the norms of a Manhattanite, Alan gallantly escorted Arlene home to the Bronx after their initial dinner rendezvous—an uncommon gesture that left a lasting impression. Within a mere eleven months, they sealed their commitment in a humble, cost-effective ceremony, unaware of the fame that would eventually encompass their lives. Their aspirations were simple—a life of contentment.
Now, 65 years hence, the fallen cake continues to serve as a sturdy foundation for their relationship. Even in their twilight years, they find solace in shared laughter, having traversed a considerable distance from their modest shared apartment in their younger days. Yet, their unwavering support for one another remains steadfast.
As they progress beyond six decades together, their bond still flourishes, deep love enduring even amidst the embrace of age. An endless reservoir of humor and unwavering compassion sustains their connection. Both surpassing the age of 80, they remain actively engaged in their respective pursuits. Arlene, with her ever-growing to-do list, tackles tasks such as crafting book blurbs, cooking delectable soups, grilling tantalizing chicken, completing cherished books, and maintaining communication through emails and Facebook postings.
While Arlene gracefully juggles her endeavors, Alan delves into the realm of podcasting, creating and hosting “Clear + Vivid with Alan Alda.” Nevertheless, amidst their bustling lives, they always find precious moments to cherish with one another. Their profound bond, they affirm, is fortified by laughter—the very essence that joyfully and willingly binds them together.
Alan, a master of comedy in his profession, holds an unwavering belief in the transformative power of laughter. The actor asserts that laughter momentarily strips away defenses, paving the way for social interactions to flow effortlessly. This conviction has become an integral part of Alan and Arlene’s marital bond, shaping their journey together.
As circumstances demanded, Alan had to adapt his lifestyle to accommodate his evolving physical needs.
The pair, aptly described by Arlene as the “mirthful duo,” also embarked on the remarkable journey of parenthood, welcoming three daughters into the world: Eve, Elizabeth, and Beatrice Alda. In the initial stages, they raised their children on a modest income, but Alan’s fortunate breakthrough in securing the role of Hawkeye propelled them forward. Yet, amidst their growing success, they found themselves faced with the crucial task of effective time management.
Alan’s demanding work schedule often kept him occupied, while Arlene took on the responsibility of nurturing their children. However, she harbored a desire to actively partake in her own pursuits rather than merely observing her husband’s dreams unfold. This led her to explore photography and engage in writing projects, navigating the challenges with their shared laughter as a guiding light.
Despite the demanding nature of their lives and the successful upbringing of their daughters, Eve, Elizabeth, and Beatrice, the couple managed to maintain their well-being. However, Alan was faced with an unexpected hurdle in 2015 when he received a diagnosis of Parkinson’s disease. Choosing to keep it confidential initially, he eventually made it public in 2018.
Even as the years advanced, Alan continued to grace screens in TV series and films. When asked about the impact of Parkinson’s on his career, he emphasized his commitment to honesty, openly discussing his illness with production teams. Surprisingly, many filmmakers viewed this as an opportunity to delve deeper into character development rather than being deterred by his condition. Alan affirmed his stance, stating, “I refuse to pretend to be healthy.” Opening up about his condition was a deliberate effort to challenge the stigmas surrounding it. He expressed that while depression may be a common response, it is not obligatory, highlighting that one’s life continues despite the challenges. As he eloquently put it, “You live with it, not die from it.”
The first indications of Parkinson’s manifested during a leisurely walk with his wife when she noticed his arms no longer swung naturally by his side. Perceiving this as unusual, they soon encountered instances where Alan began acting out his fantasies, sometimes in a rough manner. A formal diagnosis followed shortly after.
Alan’s lifestyle had to adapt to accommodate his changing physical needs. To prevent unintentional harm during sleep, he started placing a cushion between himself and Arlene after an incident where he threw a pillow at her during a vivid dream. Additionally, he incorporated a physical training regimen to manage stiffness and other bodily challenges. Reflecting on this, he shared examples such as the difficulty of tying shoelaces with stiff fingers or attempting to play the violin while wearing mittens. Nonetheless, he found solace in the silver lining, acknowledging that he grew increasingly confident in his ability to find solutions.
Despite his diagnosis, Alan maintains an optimistic outlook on life. He has cultivated a fulfilling existence, spending his days immersed in producing his podcast and engaging in spirited chess matches with Arlene. Above all, he emphasizes that the key to his happiness lies in “laughing with my wife.” Parkinson’s has taught him the invaluable lesson of adaptability—a perpetual process of adjusting, refining, and reevaluating that defines the essence of life.