Tom Mabe, famous for his witticisms, was no stranger to turning the tables with telemarketers. With an arsenal of wit and a penchant for creativity, he devised clever tactics to deal with the constant calls that interrupted his daily routine. Armed with quick thinking and a knack for improvisation, Mabe turned what could have been a nuisance into an opportunity for fun.
The scenario was all too familiar: Mabe’s day was interrupted by a phone call, a telemarketer on the line, armed with a rehearsed script and a motive ready to persuade. Still, rather than succumb to frustration or dismiss the call hastily, Mabe saw it as an opportunity to have fun and a chance to unleash his comedic genius.
However, this particular encounter turned out to be a masterclass in pranksters. When the telemarketer embarks on a rehearsed game, Mabe takes on the role of an unexpected character and throws herself headfirst into an elaborate and hilariously absurd scenario. The unsuspecting telemarketer finds himself in a whirlwind of fictitious crime scenes and strange investigations, completely unaware that the comedy game is being staged at their expense.
A man came up with an ingenious solution after he was tired of the constant barrage of harassing calls.
“Hello?” says Tom Mabe.
“Yes, may I speak to Tom Mabe?” said the telemarketer.
“Who’s calling?” asks Tom Mabe.
Salesperson: “Hi, I’m Mike. You’ve been selected to receive a free, full-featured digital satellite system. With this, you’ll-“
Tom Mabe: “Let me ask you something. Did you meet Tom Mabe? Were you one of his friends?”
Mike: “No, I’m not. I just wanted to call you.”
Tom Mabe: “Wait a minute, Hol-hol-wait that thought (to other participants: Hey guys! Take great body shots and make sure you dust off everything for prints.) Are you there, Mike?”
Mike: “Yeah.”
Tom Mabe: “Okay, let me catch up with you. You actually dialed the murder scene. We no longer have Mr. Mabe with us. I’m Officer Clarke and I deal with homicides. I’d like to ask you a few questions. To begin with, what kind of business you and Tom Mab?’
Mike: “Um…I had nothing to do with him. I’m sorry to bother you.”
Tom Mabe: “No, no, wait, I’m going to ask you to stay on the line. We may have to come in for further questioning because this call has already been traced.”
Mike’s response: “You don’t understand, I’m just calling-“
Tom Mabe: “You don’t understand at all.”
Mike, you need to leave your SS on the phone if you don’t want to be charged with obstruction of justice.”
Michael: “How about you talk to my supervisor?”
Tom Mabe: “No, your supervisor will be contacted shortly. First, tell me where you are.”
Mike: “I’m at work.””Are you at work?” asked Tom Mabe.
“Yes,” says Mike.
“Are you a smart @$$?” asked Tom Mabe.
Mike: “No sir.”
Tom Mabe: “I’ll put it this way, Mike. Suppose I want to send a letter to your @$$.”
In order for the postman to deliver that envelope right to your @$$, what would I need to write on the outside?
Where is the work, geographically speaking, Mike?”
Mike said, “40 West (bleep), Middleton, Colorado.”
Tom Mabe: “That’s four, hold on.”
“Yes sir,” said Mike.
“Michael, hold on a minute, okay? said Tom Mabe.
“Yes sir,” said Mike.
Tom Mabe: “(hold the cops) Call Middleton Homicide. Yes, please give them that data. Let them know there was a conversation about a fatal shooting and an aggravated robbery.” “Mike, how did you meet Mr. Mabe again?” the caller asked.
“Are you calling the Middleton Police Department?” Mike asks. I’m thousands of miles away! I’m in Colorado, I don’t even know this guy.”
Tom Mabe: “No, no, it’s just a formality, it’s not that scary.” Have you visited the place where he lives?”
Mike: “No!”
Tom Ma: “OK, and tell me again what, where were you between 8 and 10 last night?”
Mike said, “I’m not really comfortable with any of this…”
Tom: “Have you ever had a conversation with Mr.
Maybe, Mike?”
Michael: “No, I don’t even know that guy – that’s what I was trying to tell you!”
Tom Mabe: “Okay, great, just hold on, look, just back off, just calm down…Mike, I have one more question for you. Mr. Mabe was a flaming homos*xual, as you’re no doubt well aware. Besides, there’s no easy way to ask about it… Not to stress you out, but were you his gay lover?
Mike: How? Not at all! What kind of question is that anyway?
Mabe Tom: Look, it’s okay to identify as gay. There are still plenty of gay men in that closet as far as I know. Not that I haven’t considered it myself, but you know what? Travel to Las Vegas or somewhere else. Buy a few drinks and fix the little Mexican middleman.
Mike says, “That’s ridiculous! (hangs up.)”
“Hello?” says Tom Mabe.
Tom Mabe’s brilliant response to telemarketers highlights a unique way to deal with unwanted calls. His ability to seamlessly assume personas and spin elaborate, absurd scenarios demonstrates not only his sharp wit but also his clever approach to turning annoyance into entertainment.
Full of exaggerated claims and outrageous questions, this particular prank showcased Mabe’s talent for improvisation and his determination to keep the ruse going until the very end. Unwittingly thrown into a whirlwind of comedic mayhem, the telemarketer experienced a scenario far removed from their sales scenario.
Humor aside, Mabe’s antics shed light on the ongoing battle against intrusive telemarketers and offer a humorous coping mechanism for an otherwise annoying situation. While not everyone can opt for such elaborate answers, Mabe’s approach is a reminder that creativity and humor can serve as powerful tools in navigating and subverting everyday annoyances.
Ultimately, the Mabe legacy isn’t all about pranks and laughs; it’s about questioning the status quo, finding unconventional solutions, and using humor as a shield against the mundane and annoying aspects of life. His witty ingenuity provides not only entertainment but also a subtle lesson in reframing annoyances as opportunities for laughter and resourceful problem-solving.