It had been the real thing all along.

They did not fall apart at the possibility of losing Gemma because, at some level I had spent my whole life refusing to see, they had already, years ago, let her go.

You cannot be shattered by the loss of someone you have already decided to send away.

Their composure was the composure of people who had done their grieving in advance, by choosing not to love her fully in the first place, and it was the most damning thing about them, more damning than any contract, because a contract can be explained away as a decision made under pressure, but a face that stays calm while its daughter dies cannot be explained away as anything but a heart that was never really there.

They spotted us and came over, and my mother spoke first, her voice smooth and controlled.