I’m doing it because I have to work out how much of the last seven years of my own head was you, and I can’t do that with you talking to me.”

She said, “Ivan, it’s Christmas.”

And I said, “Yes.”

And I took the envelope off the desk and put it back in my jacket and I walked out through a hallway full of my family with a plate of ham being pressed on me, and I got in the car.

Part Twelve: The Other Letter

There was a second letter.

Jessi told me about it on the porch on Christmas Eve in one line — I wrote twice — and I did not follow it up that night because I could not hold anything else.