He is, by the account of your own mother and your own sister, an extremely good father to that child.

“If you file for primary placement on these facts, here is what happens.

There is a custody evaluation.

It takes eight months and costs forty thousand dollars between you.

A stranger interviews a four-year-old about his parents.

And at the end of it a judge says that a father’s deception of his wife does not bear on his parenting and awards substantially what you would have got by agreement.

“And you will have spent eight months and forty thousand dollars teaching a four-year-old that his parents are in a war.”