Adisa has a phrase for what that did and she gave it to me in about our sixth session and I have used it since with two other people.

She called it a demolition.

She said: “Grief builds a structure.

It’s not a metaphor — it’s what the work is.

You build a version of the person and a version of what happened and you attach yourself to it, and that is what lets you stand up.

“You spent eleven months building one.

You did it properly, with support, and it was load-bearing.

“And then you found out it was built on a fact that wasn’t true, and the whole thing came down in about forty seconds on a garage floor, and you had to start again from nothing at a point when most people are stabilizing.