His name at the top where it had been for eleven years.

It rang six times.

I counted them.

Six, and then his voice telling me he could not get to the telephone, which is a recording he made in about 2019 and which has a laugh in it at the end because I had walked into the room while he was doing it.

“Hiya, it’s me,” I said, and I was still smiling.

That is the part I find hardest to look at.