Every dollar he’d spent on her was a small thing I had denied myself and my daughter while believing, because he told me so, that there wasn’t enough.

My divorce attorney looked from the financial disclosure to my own balance sheet and back, and he actually took his glasses off.

“You have over sixty million dollars in assets,” he said slowly, “and you were living on eighteen hundred a month?” “I was,” I admitted, and felt the old flush of shame.

“Why on earth would you do that?” And I gave him the truest answer I have, the one that took me the whole marriage to arrive at: “Because I confused being emotionally dependent on my husband with actually needing his money.

He taught me they were the same thing.