Children don’t need proof that someone didn’t choose them.

They need proof someone did.”

That became a rule in our house.

When the twins were old enough to ask about Brenda, I would tell them they had a mother who lived elsewhere and that adults sometimes made choices children could not control.

I would not turn her decisions into a story about the girls being unwanted or defective.

But I wouldn’t invent a loving relationship she hadn’t maintained, either.