I was telling a man who had spent his whole life believing his highest use was to carry darkness for others that he did not have to carry this one, that no one was going to ask that of him, that he was allowed to keep his soul intact.

That is why the relief.

He had braced himself to do a terrible thing out of love, and been told that love did not require it after all — that there was another way, a better way, one that asked none of us to become monsters.

I think, in some way, my saying no to Leo was as much a gift to Leo as it was a mercy to those three boys.

It let an old warrior lay down a weight he had carried his entire life, and discover, perhaps for the first time, that he was allowed to.