On my first day, I sat at a desk with a yellow legal pad and a mug of tea.

No one called me unstable for asking why a number did not reconcile.

No one smiled and told me to relax.

I had to relearn how to trust my judgment.

At the beginning of every meeting I overexplained my reasoning.

My manager finally said, “We hired you because you know how to do this.” I laughed, then went to the restroom and cried for five minutes.

Relief can be embarrassing when you are not used to it.