Their eventual feelings about him would be their own.

I hoped they would grow up able to ask questions without fearing that a parent would withdraw love as the price of an uncomfortable answer.

I hoped they would know the difference between being generous and being bought, between accepting help and surrendering the right to choose.

I would not teach those things with speeches alone.

I would show them in the way I asked Dad to visit, the way I spoke to their carers, the way I made room for work, the way I responded when one needed something after I had just sat down.

Some days I would be tired.