And here was Julian, in a fit of cruelty, telling me the truth at last: there was nothing I could have done.

The love was never available to be earned.

It was faked from the beginning and would have been faked forever, no matter how easy to love I made myself, because the fakeness was not a response to my failures.

It was the product they were selling in exchange for my money.

You cannot be too hard to love for people who were never going to love you.

That is not a flaw in you.